“He who grows in grace remembers that he is but dust, and he therefore does not expect his fellow Christians to be anything more. He overlooks ten thousand of their faults, because he knows his God overlooks twenty thousand in his own case. He does not expect perfection in the creature, and, therefore, he is not disappointed when he does not find it.”
Spurgeon
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
We learn the most when we hurt others.
But until we encounter that hurt face to face, we (and definitely I), push it off. Ignore it. We see it, but stand still.
What's it going to take for us to see and act? What if someone in AAIV started hurting themselves? Would that change the way we approach how important it is to see our fellow members as not weird but sons and daughters loved by God?
Or would that not even be enough for us to take action? Do we have to wait for headlines to appear until we act?
What are grades, projects, and jobs in comparison to lives? We say we want to save lives? What about those around us, right now? Are they less than our "high callings," of our future patients as doctors, our future clients as consults, or coworkers as engineers?
How arrogant am I to think that I am too good for them.
I say this again, humility is the essence of Christianity.
What's it going to take for us to see and act? What if someone in AAIV started hurting themselves? Would that change the way we approach how important it is to see our fellow members as not weird but sons and daughters loved by God?
Or would that not even be enough for us to take action? Do we have to wait for headlines to appear until we act?
What are grades, projects, and jobs in comparison to lives? We say we want to save lives? What about those around us, right now? Are they less than our "high callings," of our future patients as doctors, our future clients as consults, or coworkers as engineers?
How arrogant am I to think that I am too good for them.
I say this again, humility is the essence of Christianity.
Monday, February 11, 2013
flaws of a blogger
I used to be a good listener (I think). But now that I flesh my many of my thoughts out through blogging so often, when I engage in conversation, I feel overconfident in my views.
I don't listen. I talk about my perspective (which, by the way, I'm a much better at writing than I am at talking), and find myself simply waiting for my turn to speak rather than actually listening.
Just because I've fleshed my thoughts out doesn't mean I'm right.
"My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry."
James 1:19
I don't listen. I talk about my perspective (which, by the way, I'm a much better at writing than I am at talking), and find myself simply waiting for my turn to speak rather than actually listening.
Just because I've fleshed my thoughts out doesn't mean I'm right.
"My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry."
James 1:19
Sunday, February 10, 2013
filtered
After stuff fall quarter and just an increase in the amount of people I've shared my blog with, I'm afraid.
I'm afraid to speak my mind. I censor my words because I'm afraid that I'll be wrong and be shamed.
I'm not sure whose fault this is, as I shouldn't be afraid of failure with my knowledge or afraid of rebuke, but it's so much easier to criticize someone's thoughts than think out and defend your own views. (See any news website's comment section.)
Nevertheless, I cannot call my thoughts on here "unfiltered" anymore.
I'm afraid to speak my mind. I censor my words because I'm afraid that I'll be wrong and be shamed.
I'm not sure whose fault this is, as I shouldn't be afraid of failure with my knowledge or afraid of rebuke, but it's so much easier to criticize someone's thoughts than think out and defend your own views. (See any news website's comment section.)
Nevertheless, I cannot call my thoughts on here "unfiltered" anymore.
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Goodbye, 2012
It's hard for me to put a year in summary since my mind mostly functions in terms of school years, not calendar years. Nevertheless, 2012...the bulk of sophomore year and the beginning of junior year.
2012 was definitely a transformative year for me. I get what year isn't, but 2012 was especially so. All my thoughts right now are running towards the challenging of my faith during fall quarter of Junior year, but winter and spring quarter were especially good too.
Winter quarter, when I used to eat lunches with Phil and Yuri.
Spring quarter, with core Wednesdays.
And throughout - this is definitely the first year I started blogging regularly, and to say that this blog hasn't helped me shape who I am today would be a blatant lie.
I think this year that I found my voice.
2012 was definitely a transformative year for me. I get what year isn't, but 2012 was especially so. All my thoughts right now are running towards the challenging of my faith during fall quarter of Junior year, but winter and spring quarter were especially good too.
Winter quarter, when I used to eat lunches with Phil and Yuri.
Spring quarter, with core Wednesdays.
And throughout - this is definitely the first year I started blogging regularly, and to say that this blog hasn't helped me shape who I am today would be a blatant lie.
I think this year that I found my voice.
Hello, 2013
I like New Year's Resolutions because it's almost like giving yourself a vision. Not that I'll base everything I do in the next year to attain these goals, but rather it's always interesting to see what I (and others) desire.
1. Decide whether I want to do computer science as a career
2. Make a habit of prayer.
3. Make a habit of reading the bible.
4. Enjoy my family's presence.
5. Be there for my family.
6. Understand gospel-driven humility
7. Date
8. See hearts come to know Christ
9. Work my hardest at BrightTag
10. Make AAIV website, make Bernard's website
11. Learn to type correctly and VIM.
--
I forgot one.
0. Get jacked.
1. Decide whether I want to do computer science as a career
2. Make a habit of prayer.
3. Make a habit of reading the bible.
4. Enjoy my family's presence.
5. Be there for my family.
6. Understand gospel-driven humility
7. Date
8. See hearts come to know Christ
9. Work my hardest at BrightTag
10. Make AAIV website, make Bernard's website
11. Learn to type correctly and VIM.
--
I forgot one.
0. Get jacked.
Monday, February 4, 2013
For you
There are no words I can say that can change your mind or even peak your interest.
There are no actions of love that I can do that I can try to reflect, to show you how much Jesus loves you.
There is nothing I can do to show you how you, too, are like me--a sinner in desperate need for a Savior.
My greatest hope is that you remember the words I say to you now, so that maybe ten years down the road, when you have that job at Goldman Sachs, when you are making that $4 million a year, when maybe you are having sex with a different beautiful man every night...
that then your eyes will be opened. That then you will see that these things do not fill your soul. These things are good, but are not good enough to bring you peace and shalom.
I pray that then you will have the heart to consider how truly incompetent we are as human beings, and how our soul longs for more than money or sex, but for purpose, meaning, and deep intimacy with our creator.
I pray that you wouldn't substitute what your soul cries out for, for anything less.
For you, I pray.
There are no actions of love that I can do that I can try to reflect, to show you how much Jesus loves you.
There is nothing I can do to show you how you, too, are like me--a sinner in desperate need for a Savior.
My greatest hope is that you remember the words I say to you now, so that maybe ten years down the road, when you have that job at Goldman Sachs, when you are making that $4 million a year, when maybe you are having sex with a different beautiful man every night...
that then your eyes will be opened. That then you will see that these things do not fill your soul. These things are good, but are not good enough to bring you peace and shalom.
I pray that then you will have the heart to consider how truly incompetent we are as human beings, and how our soul longs for more than money or sex, but for purpose, meaning, and deep intimacy with our creator.
I pray that you wouldn't substitute what your soul cries out for, for anything less.
For you, I pray.
nyr
I still need New Year's Resolutions for 2013.
Need is a strong word. I still want to set them for 2013.
Need is a strong word. I still want to set them for 2013.
humility
I think I realized I had a problem understanding humility when I made a fool of myself, when I asked question about the Parable of the Wedding Feast in Luke 14, during our Bible dig-in.
In the parable, Jesus tells people that they shouldn't so sit so high at the table, at the "places of honor." Rather, they should sit very low at the table, so then the person in charge of the feast will tell you to move up to a place of honor.
When I read this, I read it as a tactic to get the place of honor when it should be read as truly lowering yourself.
I read it that way because that's what I do. A few weeks ago, Pastor Peter said that people who grew up in churches are amazing at "image management." I know how to act, what to do, to appear godly, to appear like I have it together. I love WCEC to pieces, but sadly this is a culture that is fostered in WCEC, and I, too, was a perpetrator in this.
In turn, I lie to myself when people believe in this false image of mine. I lie to myself and believe in this false myself. Some kind of defense mechanism or something. Honestly, I think I've gotten better about it. I know that the God has fully fulfilled the covenant (Helen's post on today's sermon), His side and mine.
But I still cling to this image, this reputation.
Truly, what a twisted and perverted distortion of what humility is. I need to redefine what humility is in my life. The dictionary definition of humility is about being modest, but I disagree. Being modest, to me (and therefore, also humility), it sort of lying about how good you are. If I say I'm a terrible snowboarder, but then destroy everyone on the mountain, to me, that's being modest. And currently, to me, that's being humble.
But I don't think being humble is downplaying your own efforts. Rather, it's realizing how hopeless I am without God and without Jesus. I might be a good snowboarder, but I truly do some fucked up stuff in my personal time. Why I'm deserving of Jesus, why my name is worthy to be written in the Heavens....is beyond me.
I pray for genuine humility.
In the parable, Jesus tells people that they shouldn't so sit so high at the table, at the "places of honor." Rather, they should sit very low at the table, so then the person in charge of the feast will tell you to move up to a place of honor.
When I read this, I read it as a tactic to get the place of honor when it should be read as truly lowering yourself.
I read it that way because that's what I do. A few weeks ago, Pastor Peter said that people who grew up in churches are amazing at "image management." I know how to act, what to do, to appear godly, to appear like I have it together. I love WCEC to pieces, but sadly this is a culture that is fostered in WCEC, and I, too, was a perpetrator in this.
In turn, I lie to myself when people believe in this false image of mine. I lie to myself and believe in this false myself. Some kind of defense mechanism or something. Honestly, I think I've gotten better about it. I know that the God has fully fulfilled the covenant (Helen's post on today's sermon), His side and mine.
But I still cling to this image, this reputation.
Truly, what a twisted and perverted distortion of what humility is. I need to redefine what humility is in my life. The dictionary definition of humility is about being modest, but I disagree. Being modest, to me (and therefore, also humility), it sort of lying about how good you are. If I say I'm a terrible snowboarder, but then destroy everyone on the mountain, to me, that's being modest. And currently, to me, that's being humble.
But I don't think being humble is downplaying your own efforts. Rather, it's realizing how hopeless I am without God and without Jesus. I might be a good snowboarder, but I truly do some fucked up stuff in my personal time. Why I'm deserving of Jesus, why my name is worthy to be written in the Heavens....is beyond me.
I pray for genuine humility.