questioning passion

I've always told myself that a person should have passion--something they yearn for and want desperately. It could be anything, from really caring about a cause to pushing yourself to be a great swimmer. As long as it challenged you and wasn't illegal, I suppose, but even that is debatable.

But I've changed my thoughts, slightly because I believe that passion is dangerous. For most people, it's hard to become passionate about something. Hmm...wait. 

Is it hard to have passion because passion doesn't come by easily or because we're already passionate about something? And speaking on behalf of most second generation Asian-Americans, it's our "passion" to get a job, become financially successful and make our parents proud. I put "passion" in quotes because it's a shitty passion. 

Actually, I should not even bring parents into this. We want a job, lots of money, a house in nice neighborhood, a good spouse -- this path that we all envision our life to be mapped to. That is our passion. The whole "parents" addition is added pressure to do this, yes, but I must say that I'm not a very dutiful son, yet I struggle with these things too. 

This path that we set ourselves on, whether we realize it our not, is the reason why we don't question spending a shitload of money on a college education or if we should go to college at all. It's why I'll apply for a job fall quarter somewhere I've never been without giving it a second thought. It's why we didn't hesitate to drop over $500 on Urbana and $400 on Cedar, yet look to our feet to the man asking for a dime on the 'L'. It is not to say that these things are bad, but it's just that if we don't find something that trumps our "passion," this is the path our lives will take.

And that's why passion is dangerous. It makes you think you are doing the right thing, maybe you are even trying really hard, when really all your efforts are going into something that you don't actually want.

And that's scary isn't it? The thought that one day, you'll achieve what you worked so hard to achieve and realize it wasn't what you actually wanted.

I will say this: passion trumps laziness. To try and see is better to have never tried or seen. But question everything, my friends.