this is it.

Just like that, and sophomore year is done and two years have rushed by. At one hand, it seems like it went by so fast, but on the other hand, high school also seems only to be a distant memory now-I've grown and changed so much since then.

I'm scared. Scared of what the future will hold, scared of not attaining internships/jobs, scared of small group leading, of men's den failing. Scared of losing touch with people, like my roommate, Esther, and Ron. Even scared of losing touch with people on campus - the freshmen.

Even scared of my "internship" this summer, whether it will be useful, whether I'll be ready.

Sigh, but to be scared is to doubt God's goodness, His faithfulness. And how good He has been to me, not just in the past year, but in the past two years. I'm still a pathetic human being though, and I still worry.

I went paddle boarding with my floor mates today. God, I still just SUCK at communicating to them. I'm still the quiet one in the group. After a whole fucking year. If I were them, I would've ditched my ass a long time ago. Sigh. That's a whole separate topic, of me and my non-Asian relationships, and how I just fail in them.

I'm thankful for my roommate. I know many times this year I complained about him never made it a priority to hangout with him. I kind of just assumed that fraternity guys are cool already and don't need my attention. What a horrible ahgsdhdb-ing assumption. He has shown me how much he values family and showed me random things that I never would have done in my life-wake surfing, water tubing, paddle boarding...and just showed me not to be so frugal when going out to eat, but just to have a good time. He's shown me a side of American guys that I probably never would've seen, and fraternity guys definitely.

I think Men's Den will work though. It's been really cool just randomly getting to know the MD guys just this quarter through IM ultimate frisbee and Core Wednesdays, something I didn't expect at all.

And it's been good to finally talk to girls again. Haha, thanks Crystal.

Sophomore year, you've been too good to me.

(sorry for any typo's, as I am writing this on my roommates iPad becau my computer is broken, and I can't fall asleep for cedar because I packed my blanks already. ;_;)