content

I am content with where I am.
And I hate it.

Three days into school starting, and I've "got it down." Somehow my Urbana experience has inspired me to stay on top of school work and exercise. For the first time in college, I'm reading what the professor is talking about during lecture, before I even go to lecture! And I've waken up 3 days in a row now to run. And I'm way ahead in my bible reading schedule. I pray.

And I'm content. I give myself a pat on the back.

But I don't want to be content. I want to be someone who desires; no, LONGS FOR; no, desperately NEEDS Jesus every. single. day. Three days in and I already feel this dissatisfying complacency that I've landed myself in.

That's the downside to bible reading schedules, when Bible readings become part of your to-do list rather than the word that God refers to when he says, "Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God."

The bible was not meant to be read, but to be devoured and taken up, and lived day by day with.