winter quarter

Sunday night before this quarter starts, and I'm just trying to think, how do I want this quarter to go?

I fear. I fear that I can't pass my classes without cheating in some shape.
I fear that I'll never get in the habit of exercising, and I'll continue to packing on weight.
I fear that the most interesting topics that I bring to the table for conversation are the TV shows I watch.
I fear that my sole source of consolation and excitement will come from video games.
I fear that the casual community between random 'Hinhams' will be greater than our intentional, Christian community at Men's Den.
I fear that I'll just be another Christian that fakes it.
I fear to be a Christian who never takes the risk.
I fear being the son that forgets his parents.
I fear being the son that dreads spending time with his family.
I fear being the father that dreads spending time with his family.

I want sleep to be for resting not for boredom.
I want to cry out to God, not to be bored of praying and reading.
I want to enjoy and try my best in my classes, not scrape by with the bare minimum.
I want to be a disciplined man who exercises and eats healthily.
I want to be a family group leader who needs the bible studies more than his members.
I want to enjoy the presence of my family, and for them to be blessed by mine.
I want to speak to my parents about my faith like I speak to my friends.

I want to learn how to follow the dangerous and crazy Jesus of the gospel, and take risks, but at the same time, not betraying who I am, as a natural introvert. Although, is that denying oneself?

I want to reach the end of this quarter, the end of my time at Northwestern, the end of my life, and think, "This was not wasted. Not one bit."