The danger of community is when you define yourself by the community. You grow a reputation--not even becoming popular-just attaining a reputation.
Suddenly I have something to lose. And I fear it, I don't want to be looked upon as that loser. I want to maintain my image of...whatever this image that others perceive me as, I don't even know. But I want to maintain it.
I think I am better than that searching kid freshman year, who struggled to know who he was. I think I've "matured."
But no, if anything that searching kid knew something that I didn't, had a heart for God, and longed earnestly to find God. He wasn't concerned with reputation, he just wanted to be a Son of God.
No. I forget my sin, I forget what a foolish person I really am. The only thing I should boast in is how much I need Christ.
Somehow I've lost that along the way.
Father, give me ears to hear. I pray that I wouldn't be choked by life's pleasures, but I would come before you with a noble and good heart. To hear.
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