friendships

(Really trying to write as if I have no audience but really just as a medium for my mind to get it's thoughts out.)

Specifically, male friendship. When you have a girlfriend, things are fun, but both if either of you hit a point where you think it is over, whether it be for lack of passion or something the other person did, you call it quits. It sucks, but it's a necessary part of being human--better to give pain up front, rather than let it draw out, leaving the person questioning what happened.

What happens when the same thing happens with a guy? I have such a bitter heart towards JN that it only makes me more angry when he tries to hangout with me. Sure, I tried to tell him what was on my heart in the same way a boyfriend tells his girlfriend why their relationship ended. But you can't just pick up the pieces from there and pretend nothing happened. Goodness, there is something wrong with me too though. I just can't stand...JN's...everything.

Sigh, I need to have a softer heart, but I also want to be realistic that I can't be best friends with everyone, much less a person I can't stand.

God can do anything though, Rich...

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I'd love to be totally open with names, but the fact is that if people read this....then I don't want to be a producer of gossip.