honesty pt. 2

FYI, honesty pt. 1 was written when I was slightly tipsy.
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So I thought about it some more. Although I think I do regret drinking. I don't know. I don't fully regret it because it was a learning experience and taught me many things, but the learning model "try it and if you don't like it, don't do it" doesn't work in every circumstance.

I'm an AAIV upperclassmen on leadership. I shouldn't do things that I don't want to see others do. Do I want the freshmen to met to "try new things" with alcohol? No, I don't. I don't want to be behind that reasoning. "Well, Rich tried it...and he was fine."

At the same time, I learned things. To be honest, I didn't really like it. I like it when I'm in control of a situation and can still have fun. I don't need some substance to dictate the way I interact with people. Not saying that alcohol completely changed me as a person, but afterwards when I had to communicate with sober people, I could tell that I was not on the same page as them. I could tell I was being awkward, but I didn't know how to "act normal." I was zoning out of conversations left and right. I like to be in complete control and have complete awareness of my actions. Maybe that's me being afraid of who I would turn into if I "let myself go" and see who I would become.

Well. I guess I learned I didn't really like it. Maybe it was the setting though, how I had to talk to sober people right after. I don't know. I don't think I'll drink that much again.

For the record, I had 1 beer (Stella), 2 pina coladas, and 4 shots of rum. Over 3 hours. But 3 of the shots were in the last 40 minutes.