Something's on my mind, but I'm not exactly sure as to what it is.

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20 And he lifted up his eyes on his disciples, and said:

“Blessed are you who are poor, for yours is the kingdom of God.

21 “Blessed are you who are hungry now, for you shall be satisfied.

“Blessed are you who weep now, for you shall laugh.

22 “Blessed are you when people hate you and when they exclude you and revile you and spurn your name as evil, on account of the Son of Man!

23 Rejoice in that day, and leap for joy, for behold, your reward is great in heaven; for so their fathers did to the prophets.

I am not poor, I am rich..
I am not hungry, I am content..
I do not weep, I laugh..
I am not hated...

I've gotten too comfortable. My reward isn't here.

"If we have never had the experience of taking our commonplace religious shoes off our commonplace religious feet, and getting rid of all the undue familiarity with which we approach God, it is questionable whether we have ever stood in His presence. "

"To get there is a question of will, not of debate nor of reasoning, but a surrender of will, an absolute and irrevocable surrender on that point. "

"when you are baptized, you are baptized to Jesus Christ, the son of God, but you are also baptized to your congregation. this tells us two things, God is with in your personal relationship with him, but also he is with you within your fellowship."

"For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them."
Matthew 18:20

We meet God within friendships. Amen.

one people

not the christian asian,
but the chinese christian
the korean christian
the american christian
the african christian

the christians.
"i am Christian."

i'm a self-declared introvert (which may surprise some of you, but probably not), but i think this year i will pray for something that was mentioned in youth group a few months ago.

"be strong and courageous..."

she was right. he was right. i've been inside my comfort zone too long...

[repost] i love economics...

...as a course.

As an actual way of thinking, "marginal thinking..," I despise it. For a while I thought everything was more efficient that way, looking at everything in terms of costs and benefits, but then it just makes one so calculated. Every move, every action...

"I'll do this, so I can get that."
"Why would I do that? What benefit can I get out of that?"

I still see it in people though.

Soon enough everyone's out for themselves, trying to rip each others' hearts and wallets out with a smile.

%^&* efficiencies.

He used the word "perverse." The last time I heard that word was in American Literature for the short story about the "Imp of the perverse," and how odd that story was, followed by another story about a man's obsession with a girl's teeth.

I thought the word was a bit extreme, but now I realize, truly, how perversely we think. Our minds, our thoughts, our words...how perverse.

Decisions skewed, perspectives justified--how wrong, how perverse!

"Trust in your heart," "follow your heart..." - what a load of crap

I want none of this perverseness. Extreme? No, no...not one bit.

He is stronger
He is justified
He is our only hope.
He is our glory.

Billy: WHY DO WE HAVE TO GO TO PROM RICH
WHATS WRONG WITH SIX FLAGS
T_T

me: UR RIGHT
CULTIVATE

Billy: LOL

me: START OUR OWN CULTURE

Billy: hahahahah

me: ENOUGH WITH THIS

Billy: CREATE

me: SILLY AMERICAN PROM-ISH THING

Billy: NO CONSUMING

me: WORD SON

the sad thing is, admist the sardonic undertones.

...there is a very good point.

=)

orientation

i was wondering. what if my son was gay?

honestly, what could i do? pray? try to change his ways? that's like trying to make a straight man, gay.

now some may say, "well rich, that's not possible unless your son makes the choice to be gay."

well i don't think people "choose" to be gay. it just doesn't make sense. our entire society (for the most part) geared against them, why would they choose to be part of that eschewed group?

if gayness is just another sin, and if we're all born with sin, then what if gayness was just a sin that people are born with?

i don't know what i believe in for how one's orientation develops; i'd like to think it has to deal with how people are brought up, but i'm not sure.

i still hate it when people use that word in replace of "irritable" or "annoying." we never learn our lessons, do we?

okay, i'm going to sleep before any more ideas pop into my head.

5-1

i think the entire doctor thing was a high-flying dream.

and all those people who say that doctors are only in it for the money can go...away.

honestly, if you wanted to make money, get an engineering degree, get a lawyer degree, and make $500/hour. it actually takes less time to do those two, then to go get a pre-med undergraduate, medical graduate school, 4 (5??) years of residency, and another 3(4?) of fellowship.

i honestly do want to help though. i'll just have to find my own way.

i should've known when she started talking to me again. i can't imagine what being on the IV for 10 hours a day would feel like.

RU

one of my knacks about going back to jersey is that i'm afraid it won't be that completely new start.



also i think the asian population on new brunswick campus is comparable to the UCs.

i'm no writer

but i'd like to start posting more. i don't know, i always feel like i have to post something interesting, but i never really have anything interesting, and/or i can never do my thoughts justice with my writing.

so i end up simply taking interesting videos that represent it better.

HOWEVER, the second half of senior year has already been in full effect, yet it seems as if nothing has changed.

i should really stop thinking in between my writing because then my writing has really large gaps of thread to follow.

but yes. this weekend has been refreshing in terms of sleep.

i still find it hard to talk about spiritual things. it's like some social norm (that i need to break.)

...

bleh. organization has always been my problem.

gone

like yesterday is gone

oh my goodness i'm actually going to graduate

man

it is hard to remain thankful when your feelings differ....

unc =(