This year flew right past me. Growing up as a kid, you count on your fingers to when you're going to finish school.
"It's 2000 and I'm in second grade, so I still have 10 more years of school then 4 more of college...so that's 1, 2, 3, 4...-- 2014 I will be finished with school." Who am I kidding -- in second grade I was a beast at minute math, I'm sure I would've done that addition in a second, but needless to say, I'm sure those thoughts came across my head.
And now I'm 23, graduated from university, working, and 2014 is shortly coming to an end. Strange that to my watch, one tick is no different from the next. Nothing makes 11:59:59 on December 31, 2014 different from 12:00:00 Jan 1, 2015. It's just another tick like it has always been. (Sidenote: I purchased a watch over Thanksgiving break and it's coming in more handy than I thought.)
Yet to us, these ticks keep track of time for us. With every birth and every death, with every slow year and with every fleeting year, we're reminded that life has a beginning and an end. I love (and fear) the quote, "Man lives as though death shall never come to him, but dies in a way as if he were never born." Three years back, I'd say, of course I'm living, and I can spot the fools that are not. Three years later and a little wiser, maybe I'm a little more cautious to say the same.
Well...I'm going to get off my ass and stop trying to think of something clever to say and actually go have some conversation with my parents.
I welcome you, 2015. I have no idea what you will bring, but I hope I can enjoy the ride.
Wednesday, December 31, 2014
Monday, December 1, 2014
thoughts i want to get written down
Sometimes I wish I were that person who talked to himself because passing your thoughts through a medium outside of your mind can be so helpful just to hear the difference between an actual desire and a passing thought, but I guess that's what writing is for me.
There are so many random thoughts that pass through my mind on how to improve this lackluster life I lead. Not to say I hate the life I lead, but it is to say that I do feel myself yearning for something more. Thoughts in my mind from working abroad, joining sports leagues, coding more, writing more, reading more, hiking more, traveling more, praying more, gaming more, watching more movies -- more, more, more.
Some of these may merit a lot more thought -- the first thing I say when asked about regrets in college is not studying abroad. One thing I realized is that if I truly want to explore a city, I can't just fly there and visit some scenic areas and leave. I want to live life there for a little bit to experience that area, just like how different my days in Chicago are spent with friends here than with friends traveling through the area.
But the place shouldn't be what I seek. As much as I put Seattle and Portland on a pedestal right now, it should really be the experiences and stories I seek. One of my favorite things about Reddit is the abundance of stories and experiences capture in these online threads, experiences that many times we otherwise would never have heard. However, something is lost in the text when you glance over it on an internet forum versus a real person sharing with you the story. Like Nick sharing with me what he's seen in the clinic in Pilsen, or even passing homeless woman, talking about how people don't treat her like a human because she's positive.
But I digress -- no matter what decisions I make about my future, I hope that in all these things I can seek to love God and love my neighbors. The people that most inspire me aren't those who are running from city to city, country to country, taking the most beautiful pictures I've ever seen. The people that inspire me are the ones who are able to capture joy, create happiness out of the simplest of moments. Why is it that sometimes with some people one hour seems like more than enough time to spend with while with others, one hour wouldn't even be enough time to order the food because there is so much to say.
Those people inspire me, those that are able to create joy. Those who don't wait on the perfect circumstance, the ideal setup, or the right job, but those who are able to enjoy life wherever they are, whether they are visiting a new city for a few days or living there for a few months.
Of course, it's not easy, and I don't think it's a task that one can fully take on themselves. They need a greater source fulfillment that never runs dry -- God himself. But those that are able to drink from this fountain and love, love, and share, they're going to a place where I want to be.
There are so many random thoughts that pass through my mind on how to improve this lackluster life I lead. Not to say I hate the life I lead, but it is to say that I do feel myself yearning for something more. Thoughts in my mind from working abroad, joining sports leagues, coding more, writing more, reading more, hiking more, traveling more, praying more, gaming more, watching more movies -- more, more, more.
Some of these may merit a lot more thought -- the first thing I say when asked about regrets in college is not studying abroad. One thing I realized is that if I truly want to explore a city, I can't just fly there and visit some scenic areas and leave. I want to live life there for a little bit to experience that area, just like how different my days in Chicago are spent with friends here than with friends traveling through the area.
But the place shouldn't be what I seek. As much as I put Seattle and Portland on a pedestal right now, it should really be the experiences and stories I seek. One of my favorite things about Reddit is the abundance of stories and experiences capture in these online threads, experiences that many times we otherwise would never have heard. However, something is lost in the text when you glance over it on an internet forum versus a real person sharing with you the story. Like Nick sharing with me what he's seen in the clinic in Pilsen, or even passing homeless woman, talking about how people don't treat her like a human because she's positive.
But I digress -- no matter what decisions I make about my future, I hope that in all these things I can seek to love God and love my neighbors. The people that most inspire me aren't those who are running from city to city, country to country, taking the most beautiful pictures I've ever seen. The people that inspire me are the ones who are able to capture joy, create happiness out of the simplest of moments. Why is it that sometimes with some people one hour seems like more than enough time to spend with while with others, one hour wouldn't even be enough time to order the food because there is so much to say.
Those people inspire me, those that are able to create joy. Those who don't wait on the perfect circumstance, the ideal setup, or the right job, but those who are able to enjoy life wherever they are, whether they are visiting a new city for a few days or living there for a few months.
Of course, it's not easy, and I don't think it's a task that one can fully take on themselves. They need a greater source fulfillment that never runs dry -- God himself. But those that are able to drink from this fountain and love, love, and share, they're going to a place where I want to be.
Thursday, November 20, 2014
Wednesday, November 19, 2014
thoughts before work
8:28
Lots of thoughts on my mind recently, so I thought I'd take this short time that I have in the morning to jot them down -- my thoughts are more creative in the morning. This is basically my twitter, no? Except I can't express myself in 140 characters.
Wrestling with different philosophies:
There are two sayings that if I ever were considering to get a tattoo, it would be one of them, and one of them is this: Don't fear failure, fear not trying.
...or "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take," yatta yatta. In startup/cs world this is "fail early and fail often." This makes sense to me; we learn so much through our failures, that we shouldn't fear them. It's only really bad that when we fail, we refuse to get up again. This is seen through destroying relationships when one person is so put off by the other person, they "stop trying." Perhaps their sense of trust in the other gender (or same gender...) is lost.
Or even simpler, this is seen when you try to speak up in a group of people and your statement crashes and burns, and you've made a fool out of yourself. So you fear to speak up ever again.
I think this is a great saying that tells us to never stop trying. I truly believe that you can get farther than you ever imagined if you simply have the resiliency to never stop trying.
However, the Christian philosophy is this -- being holy is impossible, and trying to be holy is futile --you are already made holy by Christ. Some of my prayers recently have literally been -- Christ I can't do this. You do it. You go before me and do what I cannot. Honestly, I'm not to sure what it looks like for Christ to do something through you. Okay, maybe it's not too hard to imagine. It's when someone does something that WWJD. But it's not you who did it?
Of my tiny faith, I'm a believer in the holy spirit being able to produce action in people.
So ultimately, my question is there a merging of these two philosophies of "never stop trying" and "Christ do everything because I can't."
The point of resiliency in failure is to make progress, albeit maybe really slowly, but progress is progress. The point of watching the holy spirit take action in you is to build your trust in Christ.
So maybe the merging of these two is really that we should never stop trusting in Christ, so that our trust builds? Hmm...
Well that's oddly simple, and disappointingly seemingly correct.
Well, I thought that wouldn't take so long to jot down. Other thoughts for other times.
If you follow my train of thought, you get a gold star. Another goal of mine...to make my writing clearer and more concise.
Lots of thoughts on my mind recently, so I thought I'd take this short time that I have in the morning to jot them down -- my thoughts are more creative in the morning. This is basically my twitter, no? Except I can't express myself in 140 characters.
Wrestling with different philosophies:
There are two sayings that if I ever were considering to get a tattoo, it would be one of them, and one of them is this: Don't fear failure, fear not trying.
...or "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take," yatta yatta. In startup/cs world this is "fail early and fail often." This makes sense to me; we learn so much through our failures, that we shouldn't fear them. It's only really bad that when we fail, we refuse to get up again. This is seen through destroying relationships when one person is so put off by the other person, they "stop trying." Perhaps their sense of trust in the other gender (or same gender...) is lost.
Or even simpler, this is seen when you try to speak up in a group of people and your statement crashes and burns, and you've made a fool out of yourself. So you fear to speak up ever again.
I think this is a great saying that tells us to never stop trying. I truly believe that you can get farther than you ever imagined if you simply have the resiliency to never stop trying.
However, the Christian philosophy is this -- being holy is impossible, and trying to be holy is futile --you are already made holy by Christ. Some of my prayers recently have literally been -- Christ I can't do this. You do it. You go before me and do what I cannot. Honestly, I'm not to sure what it looks like for Christ to do something through you. Okay, maybe it's not too hard to imagine. It's when someone does something that WWJD. But it's not you who did it?
Of my tiny faith, I'm a believer in the holy spirit being able to produce action in people.
So ultimately, my question is there a merging of these two philosophies of "never stop trying" and "Christ do everything because I can't."
The point of resiliency in failure is to make progress, albeit maybe really slowly, but progress is progress. The point of watching the holy spirit take action in you is to build your trust in Christ.
So maybe the merging of these two is really that we should never stop trusting in Christ, so that our trust builds? Hmm...
Well that's oddly simple, and disappointingly seemingly correct.
Well, I thought that wouldn't take so long to jot down. Other thoughts for other times.
If you follow my train of thought, you get a gold star. Another goal of mine...to make my writing clearer and more concise.
Friday, November 14, 2014
minimalist
The topic of living minimally has been coming up in my life. The idea that less is more, and that stuff only ties you down those things. As a newly employed graduate, I admit that I've been buying little things here and there, so this idea was a bit humbling.
A guy on one these blogs counted everything he owned, and it came out to be 288. I sort of wrestle with this idea of having a cozy apartment, and not owning much stuff. The two seem to collide, although I've achieved neither because my interior design eye isn't so keen.
But an interesting idea, for sure. There's a saying -- the two best moments of a boat owner's life is when he buys the boat and when he sells it.
A guy on one these blogs counted everything he owned, and it came out to be 288. I sort of wrestle with this idea of having a cozy apartment, and not owning much stuff. The two seem to collide, although I've achieved neither because my interior design eye isn't so keen.
But an interesting idea, for sure. There's a saying -- the two best moments of a boat owner's life is when he buys the boat and when he sells it.
gaming
Was talking to a girl the other day when the topic of games came up. I admitted that I do play games, such as League of Legends, and I use the word "admitted" because everytime I bring that fact in other contexts, I receive this eyeroll of shame.
Although I myself will say that I wish I did less gaming, and I have many other thoughts on this topic of time-wasters, or relaxers, or w/e you want to call it ..
..it was oddly refreshing to see an honest reaction of understanding rather than eyerolls.
Although I myself will say that I wish I did less gaming, and I have many other thoughts on this topic of time-wasters, or relaxers, or w/e you want to call it ..
..it was oddly refreshing to see an honest reaction of understanding rather than eyerolls.
Tuesday, November 11, 2014
on my mind today
Q: What is the single most revealing thing about any person?
A: What they do when they've just fucked up, royally. Do they find someone to blame? Do they pretend it didn't happen? Do they castigate themselves endlessly? Do they accept it and move on?
A: What they do when they've just fucked up, royally. Do they find someone to blame? Do they pretend it didn't happen? Do they castigate themselves endlessly? Do they accept it and move on?
Tuesday, October 28, 2014
Friday, October 17, 2014
Tuesday, October 14, 2014
it's hard knowing what you want
ramble alert.
It's hard knowing what you want. Even from high school, we begin seeing people spring towards careers, taking on leadership for the sake of padding that college application, or doing research to prepare for premed. I'm not saying this wrong -- I think it's great to try different things, but it's so dangerous to run towards something so quickly. What's worse than not knowing what major to choose your junior year in college? Not knowing what other jobs you can do when you're stuck in a job at 30 years old, and you've spent half your life trying to get there.
It's not to say that we should be lazy and not choose a direction, but it is to say to keep our eyes open. Maybe I'm saying this because I'm in my early 20s and recently started a job that I'm finding extremely difficult, despite wonderful coworkers and an awesome company. And I think every job will have its difficulties, so it's what we do with the hardship, not the job that defines us.
Amongst all this, it's hard to make room for a trust in God.And I desperately want to trust, because the burden of actually thinking about my future as an independent person is dreadful. If the world had no God, no forgiveness, and no purpose, and I better fucking get good at my job or else I'm going to thrown into the pool of jobless graduates -- maybe that shame of that is even worse than the actual unemployment.
But it's so strange. On one level, I say, "Yes, God -- I trust you." But then everyday, I hit a seemingly impossible project at work, and it seems odd to say, even this coding problem, God, I trust in you. But I think that's what I'm ought to do, as silly as it sounds. I long to sigh and to lose the burden of independence. But everything within me screams, you must take action to get further. Do more to receive more.
And that's not wrong. If you work out more then you'll get more fit. If I code more then I'll become a better coder. And as an adult male and a someone who works in the technology industry, these are both things I want and should do, but when I allow these things to tie so closely to who I am and who I want to show the world I am -- I'm destroyed when I can't do it, and that burden comes back.
I think that's one of the things I most fear. There's this push in society that men ought to be accomplished. Well spoken. Well dressed. Handy. Confident. Muscular. Intelligent and informed. Well read. Funny. And if one of these criteria don't match up, well that's the scarlet letter you wear to the world. "He's a nice guy but he's...too short." So we work so hard too have as little "but's" next to our names, yet we inevitably fail. We pursue a goal a that is impossible to reach. Sometimes I'm not sure if we like things because we like them or because society tells us that they are things we ought to like and be good at.
I'm sure women have similar and different struggles too, but these are ours -- or rather, mine.
I'd love to pluck these things off me, to stop caring about reputation in world driven by likes and reblogs ands views, I'd love take on the yoke that is easy and the burden that is light, but for now, somehow I'm in a cage with a wide open door and unable to exit.
This post is really sad, like many of my posts are -- I admit I tend to write when I'm sadder, although I think I avoid writing when I'm saddest to avoid sounding like a slob (which I don't want to appear as a slob for reasons above).
So to conclude -- I need Jesus. What does it actually mean to for Christ to provide strength in weakness? I've explained it before, and I've probably even experienced it before. But my mind is so quick to forget, and my heart so quick to lie.
currently listening to:
It's hard knowing what you want. Even from high school, we begin seeing people spring towards careers, taking on leadership for the sake of padding that college application, or doing research to prepare for premed. I'm not saying this wrong -- I think it's great to try different things, but it's so dangerous to run towards something so quickly. What's worse than not knowing what major to choose your junior year in college? Not knowing what other jobs you can do when you're stuck in a job at 30 years old, and you've spent half your life trying to get there.
It's not to say that we should be lazy and not choose a direction, but it is to say to keep our eyes open. Maybe I'm saying this because I'm in my early 20s and recently started a job that I'm finding extremely difficult, despite wonderful coworkers and an awesome company. And I think every job will have its difficulties, so it's what we do with the hardship, not the job that defines us.
Amongst all this, it's hard to make room for a trust in God.And I desperately want to trust, because the burden of actually thinking about my future as an independent person is dreadful. If the world had no God, no forgiveness, and no purpose, and I better fucking get good at my job or else I'm going to thrown into the pool of jobless graduates -- maybe that shame of that is even worse than the actual unemployment.
But it's so strange. On one level, I say, "Yes, God -- I trust you." But then everyday, I hit a seemingly impossible project at work, and it seems odd to say, even this coding problem, God, I trust in you. But I think that's what I'm ought to do, as silly as it sounds. I long to sigh and to lose the burden of independence. But everything within me screams, you must take action to get further. Do more to receive more.
And that's not wrong. If you work out more then you'll get more fit. If I code more then I'll become a better coder. And as an adult male and a someone who works in the technology industry, these are both things I want and should do, but when I allow these things to tie so closely to who I am and who I want to show the world I am -- I'm destroyed when I can't do it, and that burden comes back.
I think that's one of the things I most fear. There's this push in society that men ought to be accomplished. Well spoken. Well dressed. Handy. Confident. Muscular. Intelligent and informed. Well read. Funny. And if one of these criteria don't match up, well that's the scarlet letter you wear to the world. "He's a nice guy but he's...too short." So we work so hard too have as little "but's" next to our names, yet we inevitably fail. We pursue a goal a that is impossible to reach. Sometimes I'm not sure if we like things because we like them or because society tells us that they are things we ought to like and be good at.
I'm sure women have similar and different struggles too, but these are ours -- or rather, mine.
I'd love to pluck these things off me, to stop caring about reputation in world driven by likes and reblogs ands views, I'd love take on the yoke that is easy and the burden that is light, but for now, somehow I'm in a cage with a wide open door and unable to exit.
This post is really sad, like many of my posts are -- I admit I tend to write when I'm sadder, although I think I avoid writing when I'm saddest to avoid sounding like a slob (which I don't want to appear as a slob for reasons above).
So to conclude -- I need Jesus. What does it actually mean to for Christ to provide strength in weakness? I've explained it before, and I've probably even experienced it before. But my mind is so quick to forget, and my heart so quick to lie.
currently listening to:
Wednesday, October 8, 2014
going out trying
cnn story link
Read this on the bus ride to Sears tower today for a DevOps conference.
A quote from Kassig's letter to his parents struck me: "I am very sad that all this has happened and for what all of you back home are going through. If I do die, I figure that at least you and I can seek refuge and comfort in knowing that I went out as a result of trying to alleviate suffering and helping those in need."
Read this on the bus ride to Sears tower today for a DevOps conference.
A quote from Kassig's letter to his parents struck me: "I am very sad that all this has happened and for what all of you back home are going through. If I do die, I figure that at least you and I can seek refuge and comfort in knowing that I went out as a result of trying to alleviate suffering and helping those in need."
Makes me question what I'm doing. Here am I -- I went home early today because I thought the conference was a little too much for me, and I messed around with the bike I've been trying to fix, play League, made some food, watched some videos, talked to my roommate, and now I'm about to go to sleep.
Not all of us will go out heroically, I'm sure. We won't have the story tale ending to our lives, yet it makes me want to do more.
I want to do something hard, yet something meaningful -- something worth dying for. To my disappointment, however, I think right now I am to study devops more and learn and do good work at my job.
Monday, September 29, 2014
Sunday, September 28, 2014
Monday, September 15, 2014
hello
post before I sleep.
Today, I passed the basic motorcycle course that I've been spending my past two weekends at. Now, to actually truly think about the risk and reward of owning a motorcycle. It's crazy to think that I've been watching mordeth13 videos on and off since freshmen year of highschool (a motorcycle vlogger), and now I can actually ride a motorcycle. (Also, quick note...learning was surprisingly easy. I think biking a ton through the city recently helped me.)
Tomorrow, I start my seventh week of work. These past six weeks have really flown past me. I was talking to a friend today about what I expected after college, and I truly don't know. Growing up in high school, I saw those who came before me go off to colleges, join different fellowships, do awesome things, and I thought -- that's what I want to do for my next four years, and for the most part, I did a lot of that. Funny how if you actually get what you expect.
But I don't have a roadmap in my mind for the next four years. Work at Signal? For some reason, getting ultra-involved in a church never appealed to me in the way that getting involved in a fellowship did, but maybe that's the way. This area from graduation to marriage is where I'm at I suppose. I don't know. I want to climb mountains, I want to take weekend trips to Canada, west of the Midwest, I want to see new sights. I want to wake up to fresh air in a tent rather than with a headache from a hangover.
But there is also much to see and learn in Chicago. I want my faith to flourish in these next years. I want to become an expert on DevOps. I want to make some great friends.
Today, I passed the basic motorcycle course that I've been spending my past two weekends at. Now, to actually truly think about the risk and reward of owning a motorcycle. It's crazy to think that I've been watching mordeth13 videos on and off since freshmen year of highschool (a motorcycle vlogger), and now I can actually ride a motorcycle. (Also, quick note...learning was surprisingly easy. I think biking a ton through the city recently helped me.)
Tomorrow, I start my seventh week of work. These past six weeks have really flown past me. I was talking to a friend today about what I expected after college, and I truly don't know. Growing up in high school, I saw those who came before me go off to colleges, join different fellowships, do awesome things, and I thought -- that's what I want to do for my next four years, and for the most part, I did a lot of that. Funny how if you actually get what you expect.
But I don't have a roadmap in my mind for the next four years. Work at Signal? For some reason, getting ultra-involved in a church never appealed to me in the way that getting involved in a fellowship did, but maybe that's the way. This area from graduation to marriage is where I'm at I suppose. I don't know. I want to climb mountains, I want to take weekend trips to Canada, west of the Midwest, I want to see new sights. I want to wake up to fresh air in a tent rather than with a headache from a hangover.
But there is also much to see and learn in Chicago. I want my faith to flourish in these next years. I want to become an expert on DevOps. I want to make some great friends.
 |
| please? |
Sunday, August 24, 2014
Thursday, July 31, 2014
the last night
Tomorrow I fly back to Chicago, where I'll start work on Monday. It's been a hell of a ride since graduating in March, and I'm happy with how it worked out these past few months, which is something not all have the blessing to say. Still mishaps and regrets littered here and there, but nothing more than usual I suppose.
People measure life in these monuments, and I suppose I've checked off graduating college and first job -- the next is marriage, which all the asian parents never cease to remind me when they ask me about if I have a girlfriend. It's a scary yet true thought, but it's alright. Marriage is not on my mind now, nor does it need to be. I just need to take this one day at a time.
"We learn life by living" -- I read somewhere.
I'm not sure how to join the right church or how to do my taxes yet, and I'm not sure who I'll be hanging out with on a Friday night in a month, and hell -- I don't even know how to do my job. But we walk this road one step at a time.
I suppose I'll need a new Facebook album name...
People measure life in these monuments, and I suppose I've checked off graduating college and first job -- the next is marriage, which all the asian parents never cease to remind me when they ask me about if I have a girlfriend. It's a scary yet true thought, but it's alright. Marriage is not on my mind now, nor does it need to be. I just need to take this one day at a time.
"We learn life by living" -- I read somewhere.
I'm not sure how to join the right church or how to do my taxes yet, and I'm not sure who I'll be hanging out with on a Friday night in a month, and hell -- I don't even know how to do my job. But we walk this road one step at a time.
I suppose I'll need a new Facebook album name...
Wednesday, July 2, 2014
it's july
currently in shanghai.
thoughts
thoughts
- After four years of college, still trying to learn humility without destroying self confidence. Family trips always bring out so many flaws in myself. Lots of things I want to change -- sigh. Hopefully before I date. Or the person I date will have to have a lot of patience..
- Part of why this family trip is hard is because I suck at Chinese, so I can't be myself because I can't communicate myself.
- I saw a janitor today in an abandoned (new but not moved in) mall, and the life in her eyes just looked dead. Makes me wonder now that I'm a fresh graduate with so many hopes and high ambitions -- what's it like to be in your 50s, 60s, and realize that you may never reach the potential you thought you had? To be 60s and still mopping floors?
- I also saw a child light up a parent's face.
- Shanghai's weather has been a nice change to Taipei's ive-been-outside-for-1-min-and-im-sticky-already
to better days.
Sunday, June 22, 2014
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
Tuesday, June 10, 2014
trust
Trusting is a huge step ahead of respecting. I respect all those who I trust, but I don't trust all those who I respect.
(And I say this because I've substituted trust at times for respect in my own mind, but now I know I learn that the two aren't even close to being equal.)
If you want to see someone trusts, ask them what person they'd recommend you to date -- assuming they trust you too.
(And I say this because I've substituted trust at times for respect in my own mind, but now I know I learn that the two aren't even close to being equal.)
If you want to see someone trusts, ask them what person they'd recommend you to date -- assuming they trust you too.
Monday, June 9, 2014
"May you be protected from hearts that are not humble, tongues that are not wise and eyes that have forgotten how to cry. "
source
source
when shit hits the fan
At the end of the day, people want to be at a place where they can be heard, regardless of whether they were right or wrong.
Me too.
Me too.
Saturday, June 7, 2014
Wednesday, June 4, 2014
Tuesday, June 3, 2014
done
I've injured myself too many times this year and I think this is where it'll stop. Had a foot sprain from volleyball that lasted many months, then an ankle sprain from frisbee that lasted a few weeks, then a wrist pain from benching that lasted a week, and now a back injury from deadlifting that is unsettlingly similar to Yom's, which has been going on for over a year now.
So no more lifting, and a break on sports.
Stopping at repping 225 squat, 225, dl, 115 military press, and 175 bench. This quarter is definitely by far the most consistently I've worked out, and I've come to enjoy going to SPAC every morning.
So no more lifting, and a break on sports.
Stopping at repping 225 squat, 225, dl, 115 military press, and 175 bench. This quarter is definitely by far the most consistently I've worked out, and I've come to enjoy going to SPAC every morning.
Sunday, June 1, 2014
tbc
“There is not one personal transformation in which the heart is left without an object of ultimate beauty and joy. The heart’s desire for one particular object can be conquered, but its desire to have some object is unconquerable. The only way to dispossess the heart of an old affection is by the expulsive power of a new one.”
— Thomas Chalmers
--
It's things like this that make me believe.
The more I discuss with others about Christianity, it always seems to be a similar conclusion -- I have faith. God isn't provable because He wants it to faith. On the other side of the coin, they say that Christianity is the perfect lie -- and from their perspective, I'd agree.
But when I hear about the condition of my heart through the gospel, I see that it reflects my own desires so well. How I chase and chase idols, then stop idol A by replacing with idol B. As John Calvin says, our hearts are idol factories.
Friday, May 30, 2014
Friday, May 23, 2014
sigh
when does being politically correct become equivalent to being fake?
where does humor draw the line to being offensive?
when are people actually offended versus just being told that it's offensive (and then reacted as such)?
where does humor draw the line to being offensive?
when are people actually offended versus just being told that it's offensive (and then reacted as such)?
Monday, May 19, 2014
left
- carecards
- fg olympics
- bernard's website
- find housing
- sell stuff
- workout
- more coffee
think about the future, family, friends, goals and dreams
Saturday, May 17, 2014
Thursday, May 15, 2014
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
hard questions
What happens when you don't know the answer. When smarter minds than mine, come up with hard questions that I can't answer. I wish Billy would just pop out of thin air and answer questions for me.
I don't know if there's free will in heaven, and I might know why God did what he did at the Tower of Babel, and have an idea of why God allowed Job to go through so much suffering.
But yes, it comes down to faith. But that's only half the story. Christianity isn't a battle of the mind, it's a battle in your heart. It's the hope we have in a kingdom where good reigns, and most of all, the love of a father for his children. I have faith that his kingdom is filled with perfect shalom, and that we can actually be fully present amidst the absence of sin.
I don't know.
I don't know if there's free will in heaven, and I might know why God did what he did at the Tower of Babel, and have an idea of why God allowed Job to go through so much suffering.
But yes, it comes down to faith. But that's only half the story. Christianity isn't a battle of the mind, it's a battle in your heart. It's the hope we have in a kingdom where good reigns, and most of all, the love of a father for his children. I have faith that his kingdom is filled with perfect shalom, and that we can actually be fully present amidst the absence of sin.
I don't know.
Thursday, May 1, 2014
Wednesday, April 30, 2014
better late than never
The day I arrived to North Carolina was Duke's last day of classes, or as they refer to it as LDOC. Then the following day was UNC's LDOC. One of the unexpected lessons from the trip was the ability to witness firsthand the end of the year, without my school year actually ending.
People grabbing meals with each other left and right, great hangouts mixed with the sadness of the lack of time left, and even relationships (and relationship problems) springing up due to "now or never."
But I have 44 days until the last day of finals.
What will I do?
(Suddenly, when I put it in days, it doesn't seem all that much...)
Tuesday, April 29, 2014
ewr pause
Delayed flight from RDU->EWR made me miss my connection from EWR->ORD, but I'm slightly grateful because the violent turbulence from the small propeller plane made me a little nauseous.
So now I can take a big jet plane back to Chicago. I used to never get nauseous, but I can't say the same anymore.
I'm getting physically older, but I refuse to become older and stop trying to have fun.
So now I can take a big jet plane back to Chicago. I used to never get nauseous, but I can't say the same anymore.
I'm getting physically older, but I refuse to become older and stop trying to have fun.
Sunday, April 27, 2014
why am i awake this early
For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”
Galatians 5:13-14
There is never anything more important than the people around you.
--
I think I need to start writing in my notebook again. The problem with a public personal blog is that there are things that I need to write to myself that I can't write, so then there are problems that I eschew and pretend that nothing is wrong.
Friday, April 25, 2014
nc
currently at duke's perkins library
(it's weird writing about my NC trip because y'all read my blog. hi billy and eddie. i'll write more when i leave)
(it's weird writing about my NC trip because y'all read my blog. hi billy and eddie. i'll write more when i leave)
Wednesday, April 23, 2014
Tuesday, April 22, 2014
wandering heart
It's crazy how just a day or two of not really spending time with God will suddenly make my heart so distant, so hardened.
Monday, April 21, 2014
cali trip
posting this here for keepsakes
·
Monday
o Fly
to LAX
o In
and out
o Staple
center – clippers vs bucks
o Ice
kiss
·
Tuesday
o TW
breakfast
o Phil’s
BBQ
o La
Jolla Beach
§
Ultimate Frisbee
o La
Jolla Cave
o La
Jolla cliffs
o Taco
El Gordo
o Karaoke
night
·
Wednesday
§
Woke up hungover, even though didn’t get tipsy
o BCD
§
Got over hangover
o Pick
up blankets from Joanne’s mom
o UCLA
§
Got super tired
o Bud
Namu
§
Food poisoning
·
Thursday
o Drive
to Sequoia
o In
and Out
§
Threw up
o Sequoia
snowball fight
o Grant
tree hike
o Drive
down to South Kern
o Drive
up to North Kern
o Camp
·
Friday
§
Finally felt healthy
o Finish
camping
o Hike
in kern
o Drive
through desert back to LA
§
Set GPS to no highway accidentally
o Roadhouse
diner
o Return
camping gear
o Tried
to go to Boiling Crab
o (earthquake)
o Japantown
– Shin sen gumi – ramen
§
Saw Clara Chung and Sam Ock
§
Charles Kong went home because earthquake
o Yogurt
land with Paul Chang
·
Saturday
o Boiling
crab
o Santa
Monica – played volleyball
o Venice
Beach - skated with Peter
o Skaters
o Returning
the lost phone
o Bought
tshirt and sweater
o Chilled
at the outdoor gym area
o Golden
Dragon – met Esther Shin
o Drank
in the girl’s apartment
§
Random instagram of crystal/joanne/michelle
·
Sunday
o Checkout
of guy’s apartment
o King
Taco
o Grace
Covenant church
o Griffith
o Wako
Tonkatsu with Charles Kong
o LACMA
o Send
people to airport
·
Monday
o Check
out of apartment
o Send
people to airport
o Drop
off Kyle’s car
o Pick
up Kwang
o Korean
Plaza food court
o Drop
off Kwang’s car
o Drive
to Pepperdine
o Chill
at El Matador
o Neptune’s
Net
o Drive
to UCSB
o Drive
to SF
§
In and out
§
Live at Motel6
·
Tuesday
§
(kwangs bday)
o Stanford
§
chipotle
o Golden
gate exploring with Kyle
o Sausalito
§
Venice sandwiches
o Chinatown - Hong Kong Clay Pot
o Bar
with Heejae/Kwang/Esther/Kyle
o Twin
Peaks
·
Wednesday
o mcdonalds
o Mission
peak hike
o Drive
to Berkeley
o Koja’s
(Korean Japanese)
o Met
up with Mary
§
Pizza, potatoes, coffee
·
Thursday
o Met
up at Kanpai’s sushi with Phil
o Philz
with Phil
o Checked
out google with Kyle
o Checked
out San Jose
o Ate
with Heejae’s family
§
Oranges off da tree
§
Awesome outside Korean meal
·
Friday
o Dropped
off Kwang
o Pier
39
§
Passenger
o Warriors
vs Kings game
o Jack
in a box nuggets
o Sleep
at Bicentennial
·
Saturday
o 6:15
drive out of campground
o Highway
1 drive
§
beautiful
o pismo
beach
§
awesome burrito
o Santa
monica sunset
o Taco
truck
o Biking
around LA from Davids to little Tokyo
·
Sunday
o Mario’s
o LA
Sarang church
o Bummed
·
Monday
o King
Taco
o UCLA
o Boiling
crab
o Bought
beers
o Watched
NCAAB Finals
o Mr
Coffee with Grace
o Hit
and run outside David’s
o GTA
V trying to get the tank
·
Tuesday
o Walked
around USC
o Shin
sen gumi
o Boba
time
o Del
taco
o Airport
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