I went to the Urban Poverty bible study this morning on Luke 10, where Jesus sends the people out to tell the villages that the Kingdom of God is near. Definitely a passage that I would glance over when I read the bible. Now I love this passage. This is after Jesus gave the "if you don't leave your father when he is dying for me, you are not fit for this kingdom." The Christ followers after hearing that are the ones that go out to the cities.
They go. They waste no time. The harvest is plentiful, Jesus promises. How often do I think I don't know who to go to, that no one is out there. But Jesus promises, the harvest is plentiful. Everyone wants to know meaning, to know life, to have purpose, to experience shalom. I will define shalom as more than peace, it is when everything is right with everything. Shalom among people is more than a peace that people are not fighting, but the people are RIGHT with each other, and the people treat each other well, and everything seems to be in place.
We bring the news that the kingdom of God is coming, where shalom will be brought everywhere. We have the honor to bring this great news. It is with great honor that we bear this fantastic news. Jesus doesn't need us to give the message, but he allows us to be a part of it and witness what "many prophets and kings desired to see."
The 72 went out and brought shalom on the cities they went to. They healed sick, they bring relationships, they bring hope.
It says that Jesus hides things from the wise and understanding, but reveals them to the children. What does he hide? I think he hides that this shalom, and the bringing of the shalom is the most valuable thing we can be a part of. That the rich will never be able to use their money to make everything fit into place.
Today, I was blessed to be able to serve at Urbana. I helped pack boxes for 32,000 health kits that were to be sent to Swaziland. Even though one might say I feel good because I helped so many people, I think there is more than that. It is the passage in the works.
I felt so blessed that I even able to be a part of it. That God didn't need me to move those boxes, nor did the caretakers need those supplies if God just healed everyone. But instead, he allows us to partake in this process of seeing the Kingdom of God come near, seeing Shalom happen in Swaziland, and I was so blessed. So so blessed. I experienced more joy tonight than I think any job could, any amount of money could bring me.
The sense of accomplishment of simply putting one filled box into the container that was to be shipped to Swaziland was greater than I've ever gotten from anything academic in college.
I want to see shalom come. I want to be a part of it.
Sunday, December 30, 2012
Saturday, December 29, 2012
Urbana day 2
Morning bible study was on Luke 5. I love this passage and having different people have inputs let me see different things.
Morning session was about Jesus seeing our most urgent need is healing of sins. Ate lunch at java plus.
First seminar was "gods heart for the poor," which exactly what I want to learn about and get out of urbana, but I found it kind of boring and fell asleep.
Second seminar, the one I decided to go to was cancelled (it was one by a cs guy), so I went to the urban poverty track instead. Good decision. It was a good panel discussion on how the panel members had lived out social justice e in their own way. Unfortunately, I don't think "learned" it (more on the quotation marks later), but one quote stuck in my mind by the man sitting in front of me.
I shared why I came to urbana, how I want to see gods heart for the marginalized and poor and he simply said this.
"Tim Keller says that if you don't know a poor person then you probably don't know Jesus."
Maybe a bit extreme but this hit me like a brick wall. All Jesus did was hangout with. "Poor" people in his ministry on earth. Yet I lack this empathy and this devotion to the poor.
Ate dinner without any AAIV or wcec people, instead met a kid named David Kim who was from SoCal but went to a liberal arts college in Maine. Had a small dinner conversation and went along pure way.
Chai ling spoke at night about her passion for fixing china ever since she was a college student. This slowly brought her to Christ, who taught her much about the suffering she went through and now gives her a passion for the oppressed woman of china and rape victims.
David Platt was the main speaker and spoke on the tough passage in Luke 9. The passage talks about the extreme costs about what it takes to follow Jesus. He tells us to stop watering the word down, and simply acknowledge that god is not this North American god we comfortably gift wrap but a dangerous god in the bible, that's tells everyone to leave everything.
He pointed to house churches in china, who all they wanted was to learn gods word. And that is all they needed. He denounced the North American need to make church so interesting with massive r budgets and programs, when all we really need to fulfill us is Jesus. The house church he taught at figured it out.
We choose Jesus because he is worth all these things. Not because it is hard but because there is a reason why Jesus is greater than your parents, your dreams.
At night, I skipped the AAIV talk for roommate huddle with Dan Eddie and billy. We all had different reasons why we are here.
I'm reminded of pastor peter's quote, can we trust god enough to live in his mystery? To trust that he is good but no entirely know his plan? Do we trust him?
If anything, I've realized how blessed I am to have been able to attend northwestern.
I'm typing this from my iPhone, so forgive me for spelling and grammar mistakes. Goodnight.
Morning session was about Jesus seeing our most urgent need is healing of sins. Ate lunch at java plus.
First seminar was "gods heart for the poor," which exactly what I want to learn about and get out of urbana, but I found it kind of boring and fell asleep.
Second seminar, the one I decided to go to was cancelled (it was one by a cs guy), so I went to the urban poverty track instead. Good decision. It was a good panel discussion on how the panel members had lived out social justice e in their own way. Unfortunately, I don't think "learned" it (more on the quotation marks later), but one quote stuck in my mind by the man sitting in front of me.
I shared why I came to urbana, how I want to see gods heart for the marginalized and poor and he simply said this.
"Tim Keller says that if you don't know a poor person then you probably don't know Jesus."
Maybe a bit extreme but this hit me like a brick wall. All Jesus did was hangout with. "Poor" people in his ministry on earth. Yet I lack this empathy and this devotion to the poor.
Ate dinner without any AAIV or wcec people, instead met a kid named David Kim who was from SoCal but went to a liberal arts college in Maine. Had a small dinner conversation and went along pure way.
Chai ling spoke at night about her passion for fixing china ever since she was a college student. This slowly brought her to Christ, who taught her much about the suffering she went through and now gives her a passion for the oppressed woman of china and rape victims.
David Platt was the main speaker and spoke on the tough passage in Luke 9. The passage talks about the extreme costs about what it takes to follow Jesus. He tells us to stop watering the word down, and simply acknowledge that god is not this North American god we comfortably gift wrap but a dangerous god in the bible, that's tells everyone to leave everything.
He pointed to house churches in china, who all they wanted was to learn gods word. And that is all they needed. He denounced the North American need to make church so interesting with massive r budgets and programs, when all we really need to fulfill us is Jesus. The house church he taught at figured it out.
We choose Jesus because he is worth all these things. Not because it is hard but because there is a reason why Jesus is greater than your parents, your dreams.
At night, I skipped the AAIV talk for roommate huddle with Dan Eddie and billy. We all had different reasons why we are here.
I'm reminded of pastor peter's quote, can we trust god enough to live in his mystery? To trust that he is good but no entirely know his plan? Do we trust him?
If anything, I've realized how blessed I am to have been able to attend northwestern.
I'm typing this from my iPhone, so forgive me for spelling and grammar mistakes. Goodnight.
Friday, December 28, 2012
urbana day 1
Because I usually end up forgetting just about everything I learn and do at these retreats (I guess it's called a conference now), I shall blog it this time.
Today was a hectic day, filled with delayed flights and a bit of frustration, but not too bad.
Woke up, ate breakfast while my parents lectured me on getting a "skill" so I wouldn't have to worry in the future (and therefore, they wouldn't have to worry for me). My brother must get this talk everyday. I'm quite happy with my decision to move a decent distance away from my parents for college. I left home a bit angry, honestly, I just hate ..that...conversation with my parents. At the same time, I don't know when is the next time I will see my parents. Not sure if I'm coming back for spring break, and I start my internship the week after school ends.
I've been thinking about parents a lot. In how disappointed I am in myself and in my parents for the relationship we have. I look at other kids laughing and joking with their parents...I wish I could have fun with my parents. But no, dinner conversations are just about the food being served, quiet car rides, among other things.
But who am I to judge them as parents? I began to wonder this morning in the terminal, I wonder if they regret being parents. They gave so much of their effort and lives to being parents, support me through college financially, yet receive so little back.
Anyway, PHL->MDW->STL. Arrived in STL an hour late, thought it would be much later after a lot of the annoyances I went through. Checked into the hotel, checked into Urbana, then ran to Imo's for pizza with Northwestern people. Then went to the main session with Northwestern people because Billy/Eddie/Dan didn't arrive yet.
The speaker spoke on Luke 4, the passage about being getting upset at Jesus. I've done the passage in family group, but it still feels weird. The people get upset at Jesus because He didn't do what they want. What bothers me is that Jesus sort of just cut them off before they even could do anything. But I guess they got angry, so it means they were thinking of what they did.
Maybe I'm being like those people. Feeling like I know what Jesus can do for me. Putting him in a box.
Afterwards, I ditched my AAIV group and found Billy. We wandered around for a bit and ended up at a Irish Pub/Restaurant. Ate a really good pulled lamb sandwich, but it was really expensive. Came back to the hotel, met the c4 guys downstairs, then went back upstairs when Dan Wu came back. Good to be with these guys.
Today was a hectic day, filled with delayed flights and a bit of frustration, but not too bad.
Woke up, ate breakfast while my parents lectured me on getting a "skill" so I wouldn't have to worry in the future (and therefore, they wouldn't have to worry for me). My brother must get this talk everyday. I'm quite happy with my decision to move a decent distance away from my parents for college. I left home a bit angry, honestly, I just hate ..that...conversation with my parents. At the same time, I don't know when is the next time I will see my parents. Not sure if I'm coming back for spring break, and I start my internship the week after school ends.
I've been thinking about parents a lot. In how disappointed I am in myself and in my parents for the relationship we have. I look at other kids laughing and joking with their parents...I wish I could have fun with my parents. But no, dinner conversations are just about the food being served, quiet car rides, among other things.
But who am I to judge them as parents? I began to wonder this morning in the terminal, I wonder if they regret being parents. They gave so much of their effort and lives to being parents, support me through college financially, yet receive so little back.
Anyway, PHL->MDW->STL. Arrived in STL an hour late, thought it would be much later after a lot of the annoyances I went through. Checked into the hotel, checked into Urbana, then ran to Imo's for pizza with Northwestern people. Then went to the main session with Northwestern people because Billy/Eddie/Dan didn't arrive yet.
The speaker spoke on Luke 4, the passage about being getting upset at Jesus. I've done the passage in family group, but it still feels weird. The people get upset at Jesus because He didn't do what they want. What bothers me is that Jesus sort of just cut them off before they even could do anything. But I guess they got angry, so it means they were thinking of what they did.
Maybe I'm being like those people. Feeling like I know what Jesus can do for me. Putting him in a box.
Afterwards, I ditched my AAIV group and found Billy. We wandered around for a bit and ended up at a Irish Pub/Restaurant. Ate a really good pulled lamb sandwich, but it was really expensive. Came back to the hotel, met the c4 guys downstairs, then went back upstairs when Dan Wu came back. Good to be with these guys.
Monday, December 24, 2012
i need to sleep like a normal human being
Is it bad that the thing I'm probably looking forward to most right now is the four hours I'll have to myself when traveling from Philadelphia to St.Louis?
Yes, it is bad. It is very bad. It's not that my days are so filled with events now either, but there's no duties when traveling. There's nothing to get done.
Here, time spent alone feels like its being wasted. I could be spending time with family, friends, exercising, reading, etc. And with all these things on my mind, I'm not at peace.
Maybe it's a state of mind type thing, where it's really my own mind that's stopping me.
I sleep at ridiculous hours of the night, and I don't say that like I'm proud but rather that I'm embarrassed.
I feel much closer to my family when I'm in Chicago. Just seems like there's nothing to do with my family, nothing to talk about.
I talked to an..."old friend" the other day, I guess you could say. His Facebook, his "godly" words make him seem like he's experienced some dramatic transformation from his hole last year. And I just can't seem to accept it. This guy that acted like a total douche last year now pulling on the christian phrases out, giving out as much godly advice as possible, without people asking for it.
I'm so skeptical and I can't accept the change. I guess him being a dick on LoL doesn't help. Sigh, it's hard to change your perception of someone. But at the same time, withholding judgment and loving your enemies is at the CORE of what I believe.
Yet I judge harshly. And see myself above my "enemies."
Create in me a new heart, oh God.
Yes, it is bad. It is very bad. It's not that my days are so filled with events now either, but there's no duties when traveling. There's nothing to get done.
Here, time spent alone feels like its being wasted. I could be spending time with family, friends, exercising, reading, etc. And with all these things on my mind, I'm not at peace.
Maybe it's a state of mind type thing, where it's really my own mind that's stopping me.
I sleep at ridiculous hours of the night, and I don't say that like I'm proud but rather that I'm embarrassed.
I feel much closer to my family when I'm in Chicago. Just seems like there's nothing to do with my family, nothing to talk about.
I talked to an..."old friend" the other day, I guess you could say. His Facebook, his "godly" words make him seem like he's experienced some dramatic transformation from his hole last year. And I just can't seem to accept it. This guy that acted like a total douche last year now pulling on the christian phrases out, giving out as much godly advice as possible, without people asking for it.
I'm so skeptical and I can't accept the change. I guess him being a dick on LoL doesn't help. Sigh, it's hard to change your perception of someone. But at the same time, withholding judgment and loving your enemies is at the CORE of what I believe.
Yet I judge harshly. And see myself above my "enemies."
Create in me a new heart, oh God.
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Sunday, December 9, 2012
Saturday, December 8, 2012
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
chinese culture
I remember reading Alice's blog over the summer, about how she wanted to return to China when she graduated.
This post especially hit me hard.
My mom just forwarded me an article about Kunming (where my maternal grandmother grew up), and it's all so foreign. What did I lose?
Why am I, I daresay, ashamed of Chinese culture, even when I am most definitely so influenced by it. I guess I only see the brokenness in the culture and not the beauty.
I question what I have lost along the way.
This post especially hit me hard.
"We [her parents] spent our lives working hard so that we could leave China and struggled in a new country so that we could provide better opportunities for you in America … and now you want to go back to China?”
I can understand their confusion. I call it the immigrant’s dilemma: My parents fear losing what they sacrificed to build, I fear losing what they sacrificed."
My mom just forwarded me an article about Kunming (where my maternal grandmother grew up), and it's all so foreign. What did I lose?
Why am I, I daresay, ashamed of Chinese culture, even when I am most definitely so influenced by it. I guess I only see the brokenness in the culture and not the beauty.
I question what I have lost along the way.
Richard Chang is 21 years old.
It's been a grow-up sort of day.
I started a discipleship with an AAIV freshman.
I did an EECS mentor dinner with a McCormick freshman.
I bought some Smirnoff for Peter for his 21st birthday.
The cashier scanned my Delaware drivers license, and his screen flashed, "Richard Chang is 21 years old." I paid for the 6-pack, and that was it.
I started a discipleship with an AAIV freshman.
I did an EECS mentor dinner with a McCormick freshman.
I bought some Smirnoff for Peter for his 21st birthday.
The cashier scanned my Delaware drivers license, and his screen flashed, "Richard Chang is 21 years old." I paid for the 6-pack, and that was it.
Monday, December 3, 2012
2012 NYR
Looking back on my NYR for 2012, I'm trying to see what I can still do.
1. Learn HTML, XML, Java, C++, C#, Android SDK
2. Make 3 software projects, 1 being an Android app
3. Get an internship
4. Learn to hike/camp
5. Have an amazing hiking/camping trip
6. Find a girl to pursue
7. Make a habit out of reading the Bible.
8. Pursue my passion
9. Love my parents. There's not much time left until independence.
10. Love my brother
11. Get to know my AAIV class better. Find a group at NU.
12. Stand up for what I believe
#1,3,9,10,11 I consider myself...accomplished. Well, 9,10 is a lifelong working progress.
Probably won't go camping anytime soon.
Everything else....#6 URBANA? Sike...
#12. I feel like it's coming.
1. Learn HTML, XML, Java, C++, C#, Android SDK
2. Make 3 software projects, 1 being an Android app
3. Get an internship
4. Learn to hike/camp
5. Have an amazing hiking/camping trip
6. Find a girl to pursue
7. Make a habit out of reading the Bible.
8. Pursue my passion
9. Love my parents. There's not much time left until independence.
10. Love my brother
11. Get to know my AAIV class better. Find a group at NU.
12. Stand up for what I believe
#1,3,9,10,11 I consider myself...accomplished. Well, 9,10 is a lifelong working progress.
Probably won't go camping anytime soon.
Everything else....#6 URBANA? Sike...
#12. I feel like it's coming.
Small group leading reflection
//written at neighborhood meeting
Just reread my original post for how I wanted my fg to go. I said I didn't want to be concerned with the results of my fg, but rather my own heart towards my family group.
I'm not satisfied with how my family group has gone this quarter. I feel like my heart hasn't been changed that much for this family group. I haven't gotten any one on one with people, I have gchatted/fbchatted people. I don’t prepare adequately.
I do lead FG itself in an satisfactory way, but even still. There’s so much that I lack to put into FG that my FG already can only have such a potential.
There are two major problems with our family group right now.
One, we barely have Elder freshmen. We have Brandon and Roy. It’s not that I’m concerned about numbers (okay, just kdding, I admit I am), but I should be concerned with my own effort to reach out to the rest of the elder freshmen. Besides doorknocking for the first two weeks of school, I haven’t gone out to try to meet them. I thought maybe they’ll come across my path. They haven’t. Still trying to think of ways to seek these Asian Elder freshmen, whether going to parties to try to meet them, doorknocking again, or something else.
Another problem is the relationships within our family group. Luckily, Roy, Michelle, Michelle, Joanne, Kevin, Michael, Katie all feel comfortable within our family group. But any “outsider”, like Kristina, still doesn’t know most of them and doesn’t feel comfortable. I think this was most evident when people were signing Kristina’s birthday card. This…not too sure how to fix. Have people eat meals with each other?
I guess there’s a third problem. More of a goal than a problem. For whoever comes, I want to be able to strengthen the way the people view the gospel in their life. I want them to see their need for God, and desire and long for God more, for current Christians and nonchristians. I think that comes with us becoming more vulnerable with each other over time. We’re getting there, but I think I as a family group leader also need to stop trying to appear spiritual and be unashamed of my brokenness, only boasting in my need for God.
Just reread my original post for how I wanted my fg to go. I said I didn't want to be concerned with the results of my fg, but rather my own heart towards my family group.
I'm not satisfied with how my family group has gone this quarter. I feel like my heart hasn't been changed that much for this family group. I haven't gotten any one on one with people, I have gchatted/fbchatted people. I don’t prepare adequately.
I do lead FG itself in an satisfactory way, but even still. There’s so much that I lack to put into FG that my FG already can only have such a potential.
There are two major problems with our family group right now.
One, we barely have Elder freshmen. We have Brandon and Roy. It’s not that I’m concerned about numbers (okay, just kdding, I admit I am), but I should be concerned with my own effort to reach out to the rest of the elder freshmen. Besides doorknocking for the first two weeks of school, I haven’t gone out to try to meet them. I thought maybe they’ll come across my path. They haven’t. Still trying to think of ways to seek these Asian Elder freshmen, whether going to parties to try to meet them, doorknocking again, or something else.
Another problem is the relationships within our family group. Luckily, Roy, Michelle, Michelle, Joanne, Kevin, Michael, Katie all feel comfortable within our family group. But any “outsider”, like Kristina, still doesn’t know most of them and doesn’t feel comfortable. I think this was most evident when people were signing Kristina’s birthday card. This…not too sure how to fix. Have people eat meals with each other?
I guess there’s a third problem. More of a goal than a problem. For whoever comes, I want to be able to strengthen the way the people view the gospel in their life. I want them to see their need for God, and desire and long for God more, for current Christians and nonchristians. I think that comes with us becoming more vulnerable with each other over time. We’re getting there, but I think I as a family group leader also need to stop trying to appear spiritual and be unashamed of my brokenness, only boasting in my need for God.
hinman 4th floor
Why do I have such a hard time getting to know the rest of Hinman 4th floor. It's not like 2 years ago in Elder, where honestly I feel I was so different, that it just wasn't possible.
It's evident when you look at who that group has invited to the Secret Santa. No, I'm not bitter. Of course when Sunny realized that only two guys in Men's Den were invited, she offered to do a re-invite...but that's because its Sunny.
Who have I gotten semi-comfortable with? Sunny, Ashley, Kasey, and Jiwoo. Congrats. The 4 Asians on the floor.
Nick and Erik, of course, were the two invited ones, the two nonchristians in Men's Den. It's not that they are the too much social of the group, it's just that they...gave a shit.
Jesus never turned anyone way, but I seem to be picking and choosing.
It's evident when you look at who that group has invited to the Secret Santa. No, I'm not bitter. Of course when Sunny realized that only two guys in Men's Den were invited, she offered to do a re-invite...but that's because its Sunny.
Who have I gotten semi-comfortable with? Sunny, Ashley, Kasey, and Jiwoo. Congrats. The 4 Asians on the floor.
Nick and Erik, of course, were the two invited ones, the two nonchristians in Men's Den. It's not that they are the too much social of the group, it's just that they...gave a shit.
Jesus never turned anyone way, but I seem to be picking and choosing.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)