Back in Evanston

Make my faith steadfast, God. I CANNOT do this without You, nor do I want to (try to fake my way through).

It was a good first day, talked to people, and had fun. I'm slowly getting to more and more of my fellowship.
-------------
Sidenote: We played this game. If you guys have time, you should try it.

Similar to the game with passing a paper around, each person writing one line of the story, except you are only able to see the previous line only. However, in this, the person has to draw a picture if they read a line, or write a line if they see a picture. Hilarious results ensue, try it.
-------------

I don't know what else to say. I'm rooming with roommate next year, and I really want to make my faith personal this quarter. I'm only going to grow threw trials, so let the trials begin!

Let me not forget how this world is about HIM, and not me!
Let me not forget how about how crazy it is for this GOD who was the BEGINNING and will be the END, and my good deeds are "DIRTY RAGS" that can definitely not achieve "holiness," ...that HE would slaughter His SON just for me.

I don't want to sound arrogant. These are things I really struggle with; I am of weak faith, really trying to grow and personalize my faith.

To spring quarter!

----
New Set up - Extra Monitor!

Byebye Delaware...

It was good and sweet. I'll see you in June.

spring break 2011

Spring Break is coming to a close. This week was an incredible week for me; there was rarely a dull day. I almost felt like I was at a retreat, but my friends were the speakers. I feel so inspired for my faith, but there is something different from this time.

I see the fruit, almost immediately. For the first time ever in my life, I'm not afraid to have a conversation about God with my parents. I'm not afraid to share my opinions on certain aspects of faith and life, because I know why I believe. It's like opening up a new side to me. Today I talked to an old friend who's fallen away from his faith, about faith and life for about 2-3 hours. I didn't even plan on meeting with him; it was truly a coincidence (ordained by God?).

He had a lot of hard questions. I didn't have all the answers. BUT IT WAS OKAY. We had a great conversation, and in the end, I admitted that my faith was weak. There were a lot of areas that I still had questions about, but that it was still all about this love slowly growing inside of me.

He was open to it and thanked me for the great conversation.

God is strongest IN MY WEAKNESS. Do you believe it? For those of you who read this blog and I haven't shared my testimony yet, ask me! I pray that I am not so arrogant that I attribute these things to myself, but that I may praise the Lord!

My faith is still weak, but it is headed in the right direction, and it is making that much of a difference.

"Where a little faith's enough
To see mountains lift and move"

-----------------

Spring Break To-Do List!
CHECK: fix longboard
EH: get phone switched
        -scratches on my phone voided the warranty, whaattt
CHECK: go pleasure-longboarding
NO: PAL with kubota
          -But we did have great conversations until 4am. No regrets
CHECK: Give my testimony to people.
               -Yes, yes, yes...5 people over break? Bringing my total to 9 (of people back at Delaware)
CHECK:submit fafsa
       -still need to get idoc and other stuff done
CHECK:AAIV Leadership
        -my "prayerfully considering" led me to apply for Prayer Team! What do you know!
EH_CHECK: Hang out with UD people
        -Hung out with Jia and had lunch with Jenny, and talked to Jeff. It was really nice, but I never got to hang out with Frankie. Disappointing, I wish I could manage my time better.
EH_CHECK: Finish both of my books
         -ended up finishing another book that I wasn't referring to in my to do list. I finished Blue LIke Jazz by Donald Miller. Great book, I highly suggest it.
          -to reads: Crazy Love by Francis Chan, Know Why You Believe by Paul Little, The Fight by John White, and Blueprint by Jaeson Ma. I'll be lucky if I finish two of these by end of Spring Quarter
NO: Cook at least 2 times for my parents
       -my purpose in this was showing my love for them, and I think this Spring Break has been an epic breakthrough to just talking to them. So I don't feel so bad about this.
SORTA: Catch up/set friendship right with Anita
 CHECK: hang out with Annie
CHECK: Bug Mary about college apps
          -a little overdone =(
CHECK: Look at stuff to do over the summer
         -UD Classes. 1st SEM CISC 181 (C++) and 2nd SEM PHYS 208 (E&M)
                       -this isn't finalized yet
FAIL: Phone James and figure out housing. Lol crap

---------------------------------------------

I want to start updating more, and posting more than one-liner posts. I'm always discouraged by whether my post is out there for attention or just out there for...I don't know. I think I'm just going to try to write though, and hope it's for the best.

I'm scared and excited to go back to college. I have 9ams next quarter (I hear the high schoolers complaining already), and it's going to be pretty hard for me to get up and start the day of with God on my mind, but I really pray that God will give me the strength to do it.

Really, this is almost an impossible goal for me. So if it get's done....it is all God's strength. I pray that this passion I have would not die this spring quarter, or ever.

I want to dream so big that the dream is only possible with God.

did you know the angryasianman blogger was once a IV staff worker?

yep.

Sometime in my life, I wanna go on one of these trips...

One More

After tomorrow, I'll have successfully completed two quarter, or 2/3, of my freshmen year. This second quarter definitely better than the first. Spiritually, physically, mentally...and academically?

Probably not academically, since I dropped a class, but apparently I got over 100% in my math class. I'll write about that in another post; I definitely think it's an accident.

I can say confidently now that I'm slowly getting to know more and more AA people. (Everytime I write "AA", it looks like Alcoholics Anonymous to me, but please know that it's short for AAIV.) Still don't have that "solid" group, but it's getting there. Originally, I knew one fellow engineer in AA who lived on North Campus, but he was one of the laziest people I've met. I really don't know how he is passing college.

Not to say I only like to make "smart" friends, but it's annoying when every time you study with someone, all the teaching is one way. I really hope that guy changes his ways...soon, or else he probably won't be here next year.

Met Mike...another engineering on North Campus. He's Korean, and there's definitely slight culture difference, but still a cool guy, andound out he's an "INTJ", like Billy  lol, but there's a pretty big difference between them.

Anyway, I'll write more later.
Things to pray about:
-roommate situation - to stay with my "nonchristian" roommate who I love, or to go with one of the great Christian guys whom I met early on this year
-AA leadership

Schedule:

-Flight Thursday at 12:20pm
- going back to JERSEY first, at the request of my parents
-going back to Delaware Saturday morning/afternoon?
-CHILL TO MAX, CHILLAXXXINGGG

I need to give up something for lent.

TO DO FOR SPRING BREAK (in not particular order)
  -fix longboard
  -get phone switched
 -go pleasure-longboarding. possibly take pictures too?
 - exercise at PAL? with kubota?
 - give my testimony to people
 - submit fafsa
 - prayerfully consider AAIV leadership. the app's like 15 pages long! but that is not the stopping point.
       a) If I am ready/should I pursue leadership?
       b) Which leadership? Praise? Prayer team? in-reach team, outreach team..?
-(finish AA app)
-hang out with UD people
     -specifically, i'd like to hang out with Frankie at least once
-finish both of my books
-cook at least 2 times for my parents
-catch up/set friendship right with Anita
-hang out with Annie?
 -bug Mary about college apps
 -look at stuff to do over the summer
 -keep in touch with some NU people
-ski with carolyn?
-fill out ctecs
-most of all, RELAX

maybe tomorrow I'll organize this into a schedule.

EDC Awards

We didn't win. I did firmly believe that we did have the best design, but admittedly, we probably had the ugliest prototype. What made me mad about who won the Design Award, was first, I didn't think their design was very good, but mostly, one of the guys was talking so much shit to the other groups about their designs.

There have been a few times in my life where I wanted to punch someone square in the face, and this was one of them. It wouldn't have been a big deal if I didn't pour my life and soul into this design this entire quarter, staying late at night in the shop, and getting up early.

However, I don't doubt that God wanted to kill us all when we went against Him, when we talked shit about Him. We were His Creation, His Design. He poured His LOVE into us.

Forgive me, Lord, for I have sinned. Let me have Your heart for everyone I know, for they are created in Your Image.

another project finished (nearly).

My project this quarter for EDC (Engineering Design and Communication) was to help a 22 year old girl with her use of the Kindle. She has a disease called Friedrich's Ataxia, where she does not have fine motor control in her hands and uses a wheelchair. Before, as a graduate student, when she reads all of her textbooks on the Kindle, her mom has to press the "Next Page" button for her. You can imagine how tedious this is, reading textbooks alongside with your daughter.

So, the project was to allow her to use the Kindle independently. The final project, which still looks really ugly, took probably over 30 hours of shoptime within the past 4 days. It really gives me a new appreciation for...EVERYTHING made. Machines are awesome...

Sure humans have the creativity and smarts, but machines have precision and repeatability. Anyway, maybe I'll post a picture of our design here. It's pretty ugly, and I'm not even sure if it works though, but I really hope it does.

 another quarter gone...2 more finals, 1 presentation, and back to the East Coast. I'll be in NJ from Mar 17-19, then in Delaware from Mar 19-27.

I need a haircut badly.

I texted Google this morning for the weather. I thought I had changed the default location from Wilmington to Evanston, but I didn't. I flipped out when I saw "52 degrees with 4mph." I was ready to go out in tshirts and shorts, until I smartly double checked with my iPod. 32, feels like 21. That's more like it.

I do love Northwestern, and the people I've met here, but I do wish it was a little warmer, and the campus was a more square then rectangular (although I shouldn't be complaining. From one corner to another is about 20min walking).

The word "texted" is underlined red. Webster needs to update their dictionary to this generation.

i love and hate engineering

I hate writing programs. But I love it when they work; it's you're own creation coming to life.

I hate going to Ford building stuff. But I love when a good design comes to life.

In the past 2 days, I've probably spent around 12 hours in the shop and 12 hours on coding, both in frustration.

Next week, finals...then home.

This quarter has been a great improvement from the first. Thank you, God. You never let go.

ISTP

http://www.mypersonality.info/personality-types/istp/
http://www.personalitypage.com/ISTP.html

"The Mechanic"

inception

What if Earth is limbo?

And the only reason to our existence here is to realize that we are in limbo, and then tell others?

And that most of us are just caught up in the ways of limbo, that we begin to forget that we are not in true reality?

And Jesus...

16 days until Spring Break. This time it will be different though, because many of the college people will have already had their Spring Break. I suppose I'm excited for this quarter to end, but honestly, this might be the easiest course-load I'll ever take at Northwestern.

I have high expectations for Spring Quarter, weather-wise at Northwestern. I'm convinced that the reason why I don't visit my friends who live down south that often is because I live so far away from them (almost a whole mile!).

And I broke my longboard, and I want a new one, but I don't think I will ask my parents after my stitches costing a ridiculous amount. Sigh...I was doing a good job not spending that much money this quarter too.

I want peace. I hope that one day I can reach the point where I can say, "I am the man who I want to be."

And I don't think I will reach that point through success in the corporate world, marrying a beautiful woman, or suddenly learning how to play piano, guitar, and sing well.