It's not that I don't like my job. I consider myself extremely lucky and fortunate to be where I am, at the company I am, and I think as long as I stay in Chicago, I'd like to stay with this company.
But a part of me wants to see more, experience more. I don't consider myself good with strangers at all or a good story teller, but I love listening to different people. A woman on the plane from San Antonio (not Austin, get that right), the apartment custodian in the elevator, and a pair of travelers driving around the US. Perhaps that doesn't require me to quit my job, but simply risk to see more.
Monday, June 29, 2015
Friday, June 26, 2015
topic i want to think about
gay marriage
http://www.nytimes.com/2015/06/27/us/supreme-court-same-sex-marriage.html
http://www.nytimes.com/2015/06/27/us/supreme-court-same-sex-marriage.html
Thursday, June 25, 2015
#relationshipgoals
from https://marielmadrid.wordpress.com/2015/05/21/relationship-goals/
"It’s absolutely fine to be motivated by others and to have aspirations – however don’t put people higher than they should be. Let them only strengthen you. Know we all have dark struggles, we all have mistakes made, things we wished we didn’t say, and terrifying moments. You will have to find your own, like it or not. Be open to how your time on this earth will unfold – if you are too busy trying to mold your life into somebody else’s you will miss the point. You will miss the beauty that was meant to be yours."
Wednesday, June 24, 2015
the judge
If you had to a list of all the sins I've ever committed in my life, I would be on my knees, sobbing in realization of how unworthy I am of anything. Imagine it -- a judge reading aloud all the accounts of sin in your life, with specific times, and the exact names of who was involved, and exactly what you did, down to your very thoughts and intentions. It would take months just to read every sin.
"Richard Chang. October 14, 2006, Hillsborough, New Jersey at Hillsborough Middle School, 9:30am. Committed the sin of ______ to Jason Fxxx with clear intention of harm. Here is the transcript of their interaction, with their thoughts included."
Yet God has exactly this, and is able to see it so clearly, every last detail, in his mind. And because of what Christ did on the cross, he says, "clean." As long as we have faith like the woman in the crowd, to simply touch Jesus, then instantly, our list is cleared, and God, as an impartial judge, suddenly changes the verdict from eternally condemned to heirs of the kingdom.
Like...what? I just don't understand how that is possible. Yet it is true, and my sins are washed away.
Three months ago, I prayed that God would make me see my sin clearer. Perhaps the past few days, I've gotten that prayer answered clearly, to see how sinful I really am, and how badly I need Christ. I hope this lesson will stay with me, so that when I rise, it will be on Christ's wings and not by my own pride and actions because then I will come crashing down again.
I can't make that list clean, nor can I stop adding to that list. Yet I am free, because Christ sacrifice paid my sin once and for all.
"Richard Chang. October 14, 2006, Hillsborough, New Jersey at Hillsborough Middle School, 9:30am. Committed the sin of ______ to Jason Fxxx with clear intention of harm. Here is the transcript of their interaction, with their thoughts included."
Yet God has exactly this, and is able to see it so clearly, every last detail, in his mind. And because of what Christ did on the cross, he says, "clean." As long as we have faith like the woman in the crowd, to simply touch Jesus, then instantly, our list is cleared, and God, as an impartial judge, suddenly changes the verdict from eternally condemned to heirs of the kingdom.
Like...what? I just don't understand how that is possible. Yet it is true, and my sins are washed away.
Three months ago, I prayed that God would make me see my sin clearer. Perhaps the past few days, I've gotten that prayer answered clearly, to see how sinful I really am, and how badly I need Christ. I hope this lesson will stay with me, so that when I rise, it will be on Christ's wings and not by my own pride and actions because then I will come crashing down again.
I can't make that list clean, nor can I stop adding to that list. Yet I am free, because Christ sacrifice paid my sin once and for all.
Tuesday, June 23, 2015
Monday, June 22, 2015
be you.
(inspired by a conversation with a brother)
You know what I fucking love? When you be you. When someone says, "Oh you don't like video games? That's cool. I love playing video games." Or, "You like hiking? The pictures look great, but it's just not for me."
And that's fine. That's awesome. People are different and different things appeal to everyone. That's not to say there's no room to change. Perhaps if you hate a certain race of people, it might be something I hope you can open your eyes to change.
But even if racism, maybe I'd rather some say, "I just don't like asian people," then have this passive aggressive attitude toward it. Because maybe if you speak up, you might realize how irrational your hatred is. Or perhaps, I might realize how rational it is. Who knows? Maybe if I lived in a place where every single Asian person was so stingy and oblivious to their surroundings (asian tourists ftL), then yes -- I'd probably have some issues. Maybe I already do.
But speak your mind and be you.
I hate it when people see something on Instagram and the thought goes from "Oh, that looks really neat" to "Oh, maybe if I do that I'll look cool too."
Can we eat meals and just enjoy them without showing them to the world? Can we enjoy nature, take trips and have good memories rather than worrying about likes?
Can I just be me and not see a social media profile to be able to call myself interesting and unique?
--
This post is simultaneous a pep talk for myself, and a glimpse of something I want to do for others in my life.
You know what I fucking love? When you be you. When someone says, "Oh you don't like video games? That's cool. I love playing video games." Or, "You like hiking? The pictures look great, but it's just not for me."
And that's fine. That's awesome. People are different and different things appeal to everyone. That's not to say there's no room to change. Perhaps if you hate a certain race of people, it might be something I hope you can open your eyes to change.
But even if racism, maybe I'd rather some say, "I just don't like asian people," then have this passive aggressive attitude toward it. Because maybe if you speak up, you might realize how irrational your hatred is. Or perhaps, I might realize how rational it is. Who knows? Maybe if I lived in a place where every single Asian person was so stingy and oblivious to their surroundings (asian tourists ftL), then yes -- I'd probably have some issues. Maybe I already do.
But speak your mind and be you.
I hate it when people see something on Instagram and the thought goes from "Oh, that looks really neat" to "Oh, maybe if I do that I'll look cool too."
Can we eat meals and just enjoy them without showing them to the world? Can we enjoy nature, take trips and have good memories rather than worrying about likes?
Can I just be me and not see a social media profile to be able to call myself interesting and unique?
--
This post is simultaneous a pep talk for myself, and a glimpse of something I want to do for others in my life.
Sunday, June 14, 2015
a year has passed.
Ever since junior year of college, I can't seem to keep track of the months. Winter and spring rush by and suddenly a year has passed. I must say, that it is a bit frightening to see a year fly by so quickly. But a year has passed since graduating, with all its failures and successes. I find myself so easily gravitating towards its failures and how I can improve, become the person I want to.
While there is a lot of good in motivation to be a better person, I think it's important to note little victories. I honestly was afraid for my faith coming out of college because it was not in a good place at the time. A year later, I'm still a sinner -- haha. However, I'm still learning more about myself and how to seek God more. As quick as I am to point fingers to my own life and find my own shortcomings, maybe it's good to pause and just praise God.
Despite my wavering and unfaithful love toward God, I can still say that I want to know Jesus more. I can say that Jesus is the most amazing man the walk this earth, and his sacrifice has freed us to be who were created to be. That despite my shortcomings, I can already say that I have victory in this fight, even if my heart doesn't feel like it some nights.
The fight is one to see the victory and live in it, but not one against sin.
While there is a lot of good in motivation to be a better person, I think it's important to note little victories. I honestly was afraid for my faith coming out of college because it was not in a good place at the time. A year later, I'm still a sinner -- haha. However, I'm still learning more about myself and how to seek God more. As quick as I am to point fingers to my own life and find my own shortcomings, maybe it's good to pause and just praise God.
Despite my wavering and unfaithful love toward God, I can still say that I want to know Jesus more. I can say that Jesus is the most amazing man the walk this earth, and his sacrifice has freed us to be who were created to be. That despite my shortcomings, I can already say that I have victory in this fight, even if my heart doesn't feel like it some nights.
The fight is one to see the victory and live in it, but not one against sin.
Sunday, June 7, 2015
the greener grass syndrome
I've written about this topic before, but I just wanted to post this. This was a short speech I put together when I was asked to give some advice to the graduating seniors of AAIV. It's something that I think applies to all walks of life, but has been so evident in my life and my friends as we left college a year ago.
--
I want to talk to you about what I like to call the greener grass syndrome. Some of you next year may be off the new jobs, new cities, more schooling, going home, maybe even staying here for another year. Some of you may be dreading when this school year ends and some of you may be so excited for your next steps.
Whatever it is, realize you are where God wants you to be. I'm only a year ahead of you guys. My friends this year have gone moved west coast for jobs, worked long hours during their gap year, my roommate finished his first year of med school, and I just finished my 10th month of work. Some went home to look for jobs. Some found them, some didn't.
You know what I noticed that all of these people have in common? Everyone wishes they were somewhere else. They see greener grass. My roommate looks at me and says, "Man, I wish I had a job." I look at him and think, "I wish I was in school, meeting new people." Then our friend at home looks at both of us and says, "I wish I was living in the city," and we look back at him and say, "I wish I had the time you had." And the gap year premeds wish they were in medical school already, and the medical students now wish they had taken a gap year.
I'm not saying "make the most of any situation." In fact, I'm not your situation "bad" at all. As christians, we can make more powerful claims than that -- that you are literally exactly where God wants you to be. Right here, right now, and you will be in a month and in a year. You are on the green grass that God has set for you, so stop looking at your neighbor's yard. Literally my smartest friend has probably applied to over 100 jobs now and hasn't gotten any offers. And I have many friends who have great jobs and are making much more than me. Your situation next year doesn't define you in the least bit.
It's so easy to look somewhere else though, right? I wish I was living in Seattle, where I can hike up mountain tops on weekends rather than staring at the Midwest's flat land. Or in California, where I can go outside in a sweater in the middle of the winter, rather than put on five layers in Chicago's brutal winter. I wish I was on the east coast, close to family. But when I think that I miss out on what God has in stored for me right here, right now. From the communities he wants me to engage, new places that I have yet to experience, to old places that I haven't finished their stories yet.
God has put you exactly where he wants you to be, so find out why. Pray to him, and seek his joy wherever you are. The green grass is wherever you can find the peace of Christ. Congratulations, class of 2015, and I pray that this coming year you will fight to see why God has brought you to wherever you are going.
--
I want to talk to you about what I like to call the greener grass syndrome. Some of you next year may be off the new jobs, new cities, more schooling, going home, maybe even staying here for another year. Some of you may be dreading when this school year ends and some of you may be so excited for your next steps.
Whatever it is, realize you are where God wants you to be. I'm only a year ahead of you guys. My friends this year have gone moved west coast for jobs, worked long hours during their gap year, my roommate finished his first year of med school, and I just finished my 10th month of work. Some went home to look for jobs. Some found them, some didn't.
You know what I noticed that all of these people have in common? Everyone wishes they were somewhere else. They see greener grass. My roommate looks at me and says, "Man, I wish I had a job." I look at him and think, "I wish I was in school, meeting new people." Then our friend at home looks at both of us and says, "I wish I was living in the city," and we look back at him and say, "I wish I had the time you had." And the gap year premeds wish they were in medical school already, and the medical students now wish they had taken a gap year.
I'm not saying "make the most of any situation." In fact, I'm not your situation "bad" at all. As christians, we can make more powerful claims than that -- that you are literally exactly where God wants you to be. Right here, right now, and you will be in a month and in a year. You are on the green grass that God has set for you, so stop looking at your neighbor's yard. Literally my smartest friend has probably applied to over 100 jobs now and hasn't gotten any offers. And I have many friends who have great jobs and are making much more than me. Your situation next year doesn't define you in the least bit.
It's so easy to look somewhere else though, right? I wish I was living in Seattle, where I can hike up mountain tops on weekends rather than staring at the Midwest's flat land. Or in California, where I can go outside in a sweater in the middle of the winter, rather than put on five layers in Chicago's brutal winter. I wish I was on the east coast, close to family. But when I think that I miss out on what God has in stored for me right here, right now. From the communities he wants me to engage, new places that I have yet to experience, to old places that I haven't finished their stories yet.
God has put you exactly where he wants you to be, so find out why. Pray to him, and seek his joy wherever you are. The green grass is wherever you can find the peace of Christ. Congratulations, class of 2015, and I pray that this coming year you will fight to see why God has brought you to wherever you are going.
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