Thursday, August 30, 2012
Monday, August 27, 2012
Sunday, August 26, 2012
Thursday, August 23, 2012
grateful
My internship is finally coming to an end. Even after all the grumbling about my boss and internship, on and off this blog, I should be grateful for the chance and opportunity he's given me.
I went on Northwestern's career/internship posting website and started looking at postings (they come out this early!). I still have things to learn and projects to do, but it is definitely encouraging to see things like "Experience in C#," ".NET Framework experience," "XAML experienced preferred." All of which I've had the pleasure to tackle this summer, and more.
I might actually be able to get an internship this upcoming year...
I went on Northwestern's career/internship posting website and started looking at postings (they come out this early!). I still have things to learn and projects to do, but it is definitely encouraging to see things like "Experience in C#," ".NET Framework experience," "XAML experienced preferred." All of which I've had the pleasure to tackle this summer, and more.
I might actually be able to get an internship this upcoming year...
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
the newsroom
I just spent the better part of the past hour looking at reviews for the Aaron Sorkins new TV Series, the Newsroom. I was hooked onto the series after HBO freely released their pilot episode on Youtube, and have been watching week by week ever since.
I can't help but notice the disparity in ratings between critic and user reviews.
The attacks don't seem to be able the show's actual message, "speaking truth to stupid," but just attacks on characters, saying the women are too stereotypical. Real newsrooms don't have these glory speeches. Basically, that it's bad television and will die quickly.
Yet, it thrives. The most recent episode is 6th most seeded in the TV shows category for PirateBay.
I'm just confused. I think that someone who had the passion to go into the field of journalism would be thrilled behind the idea of covering actually significant stories rather than focusing in on stories that simply gather a lot of hype (see Casey Anthony). Yet these journalists tear the show apart.
Except Dan Rather praised the show.
I can't help but notice the disparity in ratings between critic and user reviews.
The attacks don't seem to be able the show's actual message, "speaking truth to stupid," but just attacks on characters, saying the women are too stereotypical. Real newsrooms don't have these glory speeches. Basically, that it's bad television and will die quickly.
Yet, it thrives. The most recent episode is 6th most seeded in the TV shows category for PirateBay.
I'm just confused. I think that someone who had the passion to go into the field of journalism would be thrilled behind the idea of covering actually significant stories rather than focusing in on stories that simply gather a lot of hype (see Casey Anthony). Yet these journalists tear the show apart.
Except Dan Rather praised the show.
Sunday, August 19, 2012
dat feel
As summer is coming to an end, I don't feel prepared to go back to school, but at the same time, there is this feeling that it is time to move on. This summer was great, but we've had our run and our abundant share of good times. From loving longboarding to being bored of it, craving LoL to hating it, roaming around philly or just chilling at Essence's, this summer has been chaulk-full of experiences and is coming to an end.
I don't feel ready at all to start classes, but luckily there will be significant buffer between being at Northwestern campus and actually starting classes, so I think that will help. Seemingly out-of-the-blue "challenging conversations" remind me it's okay to feel apprehensive about leading a small group, to reaching out to non-Christians. It is God who goes with us and will do as He pleases, regardless of the skill of the leader.
I suppose I'm thankful for feelings like this. I guess they help me not be homesick at college, or collegesick at home.
I don't feel ready at all to start classes, but luckily there will be significant buffer between being at Northwestern campus and actually starting classes, so I think that will help. Seemingly out-of-the-blue "challenging conversations" remind me it's okay to feel apprehensive about leading a small group, to reaching out to non-Christians. It is God who goes with us and will do as He pleases, regardless of the skill of the leader.
I suppose I'm thankful for feelings like this. I guess they help me not be homesick at college, or collegesick at home.
the lakefill
During church, our college group discussed that after Jesus heard of John the Baptist's death, he went to the lake for some personal time. We started talking about places that would give us that peace, solace, and space and somehow everyone named places near water. The beach, Sandy Cove...and I didn't name it, but my mind was screaming the Lakefill at Northwestern.
What is it about water that gives us solace, peace and serenity...
What is it about water that gives us solace, peace and serenity...
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
lazy
I'm starting to think sometimes I mix up my "introverted" side with just being plain lazy. Too lazy to shake a new person's hand or scared to hit a less shallow topic.
It seemed so much easier post-focus for some reason, because somehow I felt some power in that place. When at WCEC with people who are older than me, it just seems...harder? Beginning questions like "What dorm, state your from, major..." can't be used. I feel like I have no responsibility for taking care of older people, especially those out of college, yet they say people get lonelier as they grow older. If anything, there should be a greater push.
I also am starting to think that I can't really blame my boss for this cruddy internship. At least I can't entirely blame him; when I've given a task, I'm terribly inefficient. I was given a challenging task today, and I quickly just went for a brute-force method rather than think out of efficient and DRY code method. I don't even think my method worked.
Engineers find solutions to seemingly impossible problems, that's why people hire engineers. Where is that kid that would spent 8 hours on his calculus homework just to know how to do every single integral? The problems have become harder, oh so much harder. But my effort has seemingly hasn't increased...if anything, it looks as if it decreased.
I really should just quit the internship, start studying for interviews and do personal projects.
It seemed so much easier post-focus for some reason, because somehow I felt some power in that place. When at WCEC with people who are older than me, it just seems...harder? Beginning questions like "What dorm, state your from, major..." can't be used. I feel like I have no responsibility for taking care of older people, especially those out of college, yet they say people get lonelier as they grow older. If anything, there should be a greater push.
I also am starting to think that I can't really blame my boss for this cruddy internship. At least I can't entirely blame him; when I've given a task, I'm terribly inefficient. I was given a challenging task today, and I quickly just went for a brute-force method rather than think out of efficient and DRY code method. I don't even think my method worked.
Engineers find solutions to seemingly impossible problems, that's why people hire engineers. Where is that kid that would spent 8 hours on his calculus homework just to know how to do every single integral? The problems have become harder, oh so much harder. But my effort has seemingly hasn't increased...if anything, it looks as if it decreased.
I really should just quit the internship, start studying for interviews and do personal projects.
Monday, August 6, 2012
Friday, August 3, 2012
quiet friday
So I didn't go to work today because I had an eye doctor's appointment in the morning, where I had my eyes dilated and left me blinded from light for many hours. Didn't really do much with the time; Dad taught me some Java, and I took a nap before volleyball. Then through volleyball, and woke up and thought it was too late to go.
Dunno what to do on the internet anymore and didn't feel like playing LoL, so I decided to look up a tutorial on Jack Johnson's "No Other Way." Got farther than I think I would, although I don't know how I'll be able to sing and pluck at the same time.
Sometimes I feel I'm not fair to my Northwestern friends. I tell myself I don't know them as well as I really do. I think it's just because of the sheer number of people I've encountered. I wouldn't consider my popular in the least bit, but oddly enough, there's been a good amount of people who I've been blessed to get to know this year. There was a point where I'd easily share my fair share of freshmen sorrow stories and female fairytales, just to be more vulnerable to get to know someone better. And experiences we've had together throughout the year, even if only within the 9 months, I swear time spent in college is at least 2x the time spent out of college.
Why?
Maybe this ties in with what I've been thinking of also. "What is there to do?" Luckily there are the olympics this summer, or else I'd be bum out of ideas. Really, everyone just wants to sit and talk. Get to know each other more, share stories, laugh. But there has always got to be a venue, and there seems to be so many options in college. Grabbing meals, getting boba, bk late night (wow food-oriented social life...), "studying", sunrises, staying up late, yes even LoL...
At home, so far it just seems like LoL and olympics. Beach was pretty fun, but it's not an everyday thing. Damnit, wish I could just room with these guys one summer.
Dunno what to do on the internet anymore and didn't feel like playing LoL, so I decided to look up a tutorial on Jack Johnson's "No Other Way." Got farther than I think I would, although I don't know how I'll be able to sing and pluck at the same time.
Sometimes I feel I'm not fair to my Northwestern friends. I tell myself I don't know them as well as I really do. I think it's just because of the sheer number of people I've encountered. I wouldn't consider my popular in the least bit, but oddly enough, there's been a good amount of people who I've been blessed to get to know this year. There was a point where I'd easily share my fair share of freshmen sorrow stories and female fairytales, just to be more vulnerable to get to know someone better. And experiences we've had together throughout the year, even if only within the 9 months, I swear time spent in college is at least 2x the time spent out of college.
Why?
Maybe this ties in with what I've been thinking of also. "What is there to do?" Luckily there are the olympics this summer, or else I'd be bum out of ideas. Really, everyone just wants to sit and talk. Get to know each other more, share stories, laugh. But there has always got to be a venue, and there seems to be so many options in college. Grabbing meals, getting boba, bk late night (wow food-oriented social life...), "studying", sunrises, staying up late, yes even LoL...
At home, so far it just seems like LoL and olympics. Beach was pretty fun, but it's not an everyday thing. Damnit, wish I could just room with these guys one summer.
Thursday, August 2, 2012
49 days
49 days until I leave for college again. I don't think I'm ready for it. As much as I miss college and the people, I find myself in a routine that seems...comfortable. I lose track of days pretty much every week now. Thought it was Tuesday today, turns out its Wednesday. Not ready for freshmen outreach, studying hard, meeting new people, doing crazy stuff.
I remember on the cedar van, I plopped myself between 2 people I barely knew and just started yapping, saying the dumbest and silly things, but somehow that made people feel comfortable. Same thing happened during Cedar small groups and teams. Somehow I became some extremely extroverted kid.
Maybe that time has passed, maybe that was sophomore year. I guess I can't say. I remember feeling very iffy about sophomore year over the summer last year.
I just feel unprepared, for everything that I think is to come. But that's okay.
Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."
Gotta start writing more on AAIV stuff, from freshmen outreach to upperclassmen inclusion to family group leading to Men's Den.
I remember on the cedar van, I plopped myself between 2 people I barely knew and just started yapping, saying the dumbest and silly things, but somehow that made people feel comfortable. Same thing happened during Cedar small groups and teams. Somehow I became some extremely extroverted kid.
Maybe that time has passed, maybe that was sophomore year. I guess I can't say. I remember feeling very iffy about sophomore year over the summer last year.
I just feel unprepared, for everything that I think is to come. But that's okay.
Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."
Gotta start writing more on AAIV stuff, from freshmen outreach to upperclassmen inclusion to family group leading to Men's Den.
the asian niche
Maybe it's the recent article that I read, or remaining thoughts from the AsianNUProject or even just my day-to-day activities at my internship that keep my mind at this thought.
So many Asians seem to hit this...social niche. Family income in between 100-250K. Live in a city suburb. Either one or both parents are doctors, scientists, or engineers. And oddly enough, mostly church goers too. Stable income, good morals - respectable citizens. The Asian niche.
On one hand, I want to be safe and say, "And not that there's anything wrong with that." But really, I can't say that with a straight face.
At work, I really want to just give the business to my boss. Not in a demeaning manor, but quite simply, a fair and necessary task. Man to man, saying "You didn't hold your end of the deal." But then I think, I shouldn't "give in." I should stay patient and wait for the better days, the better opportunity. I need this guy to like me for future recommendation letters.
So, what's going to win inside of me? My courage/anger or my patience/fear? Fear to speak up, to take a stance? I think certainly my patience/fear will win, just because it is the passive option.
So many Asians seem to hit this...social niche. Family income in between 100-250K. Live in a city suburb. Either one or both parents are doctors, scientists, or engineers. And oddly enough, mostly church goers too. Stable income, good morals - respectable citizens. The Asian niche.
On one hand, I want to be safe and say, "And not that there's anything wrong with that." But really, I can't say that with a straight face.
At work, I really want to just give the business to my boss. Not in a demeaning manor, but quite simply, a fair and necessary task. Man to man, saying "You didn't hold your end of the deal." But then I think, I shouldn't "give in." I should stay patient and wait for the better days, the better opportunity. I need this guy to like me for future recommendation letters.
So, what's going to win inside of me? My courage/anger or my patience/fear? Fear to speak up, to take a stance? I think certainly my patience/fear will win, just because it is the passive option.
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