There's only a few days where I can recall that everything just fell into place perfectly, days that you couldn't make better if you had even tried. Those, I would say, are the best days--everything falling into place, turning out better than you could have imagined.

what comes to mind:

Vermont Ski Trip, Winter of 2009

What started out as a plan to skip three days of school was assuaged by the abundance of snow days that  forced Charter to essentially begin winter break a week earlier than expected, therefore allowing the ski trip to continue without missing any days of school, and at the same time, leaving before the massive "snowmageddon" hit. Then the trip itself was simply ethereal.

Wake up in a cozy attic, shower, stroll downstairs to a bustling household and make myself a simple breakfast. Gear up and head out for skiing. Come back late afternoon, gear down, and watch movies and play board games with hilarious guys. At night, chat with friends back home, and go to sleep in preparation for another day. Repeat x7.

Six Flags Trip, June 2010

Frustrated the night before on how this trip would go down, we sat in JFei's kitchen defeated. It was suppose to rain the next day, the day we had planned, so we wanted to cancel the trip and postpone. However, if we postponed, then other people couldn't come and whole slew of other problems, so after a few hours of deciding, we decided to go on with it. We scavenged around for 6 flags coke cans only to be disappointed by  FIFA replacing the Six Flags Coke cans, disabling us from getting BOGO tickets.

In the end, there was just enough people who came to fit in Billy's car, so we crammed and settled in. Jia went early to her workplace and grabbed old cans that had the 6 flags coupon on them, so we were set in that aspect. We were ready to be disappointed because of the weather calling for rain.

In 8th grade, I went to Hershey Park 2 times in one week (once for our 8th grade trip, and once for orchestra) and both times it rained, and both times I had horrible experiences. I was afraid that this time would follow suit like the others.

However, what happened was everyone else read the forecast too, and NJ kids were still in school. Therefore, no one was in the park the next day because of the supposed rainy weather. But surprise--it never rained one drop. So, there were no rides the entire day to the park, and we just walked onto rides like it was our own. I've never been to an amusement park where I needed a break from rollercoasters because my head was throbbing from too much excitement and exhilaration....until that day. What a great day. I normally never buy the rollercoaster photos, but I think I bought two that day.

Also, many of us had never been on a ferris wheel, so we all went on just before the park closed, and the guy running the wheel allowed us to stay on for an extra 4 times around, right around when the sun was going down. We were so impressed with that guy's playful attitude that I decided we should write him a recommendation. We walked into a random place that seemed semi-official (meaning not a carnival stand type place) and I asked for a recommendation form. It happened to be the lost-and-found center, and Carolyn decided to ask them if they had seen her phone (that Carolyn blames me for losing because I made them run around in the morning). None of us expected any result, but the guy comes out with her phone....but there's no battery, and she needs to somehow prove that it's her phone. Luckily...this was a few weeks before I had my phone switched, so I had the same battery as her, and we proved it was her phone, and wallah! What a day..

What sparks this entry?

Today (Yesterday), 29 Dec 2010

What started as a casual day at the park...ended in great laughter and friendship. It's late, good night.

I have three days until I leave. Break is too short. Too many people to see, too many people to catch up with.

I guess I'm very lucky to have days like these, to have friends to see.

sincerity

tbc

finished temporarily

I don't think I've ever studied more in my life. Whoever said college is easier than high school is a huge liar.

Well...false. The classes that you take should interest you more, which I guess does make a difference. For instance, I'm pretty much taking two math classes, an econ class, and a public speaking class (requirement). So, I'm basically taking classes that I usually enjoy, and I did thoroughly enjoy them, but having only exams makes your studying that much crazier.

Of course many people get stuck with intro classes (chem 101..), and start doing really badly.

Sidenote: If you come to Northwestern, make sure you get a 5 on that AP Chem because CHEM101 here is intentionally used as a weeder class. People who took AP Chem do poorly in that class.

I'm so glad first quarter is done though. I was talking to my roommate last night, and we both agreed (unspokenly) that college would not have been as fun if we had been roommates with any other guy on our floor. If I didn't have an awesome roommate, I think my opinion of college would be very different. I wonder if I go home, I'll miss having a roommate, haha.

But yeah, any other guy on our floor.....I don't know.

Anyway, this quarter has been an incredible challenge. I think this quarter is really reflected my "best ability."

This post is really roundabout, but I don't feel like going back and editting it. I can't believe I'm going to have finals week 3 times a year....>_>

When I walk out of my dorm,

The smell of cold Evanston air reminds me of skiing so, so much.

There's this crisp, fresh, and cold aroma of air that makes me want to hit the slopes sooo bad.

First snowfall of many to come this year..

There's just something about Northwestern that I can say "I belong here." Maybe that's what everyone says once they get acclimated to college, maybe not. I know, I complain a lot about college being busy and hard, and it is, but Northwestern somehow fits me.

The fact that it's a good school, but not Harvard, Princeton, or Yale (etc,etc) brings down the academic a notch to give it a real life vibe, where the students are really just normal people, not your "smarter than thou" kids (at least not the majority), at the same time, many people are smarter than you think. 

Is the campus how I imagined it? Yes and no. I didn't imagine I'd be walking  up and down Sheridan Rd (pictured above) for half of my day, but at the same time, Sheridan Rd brings the students together. It's not your UCLA-picturesque school, but it's not Rutgers either, where the campus is really just buildings next to bus stops. 

There's some walking (enough to get you complaining), but not enough to force you to take buses. There's a nearby downtown, and a nearby city.

I guess my real answer is no, it's not exactly how I envisioned college campus. The college campus in my mind is more like...my memory of Berkeley. Which is not the actual Berkeley campus, of course, because my 4th grade memory does not serve me well.

But even though it's not how I envisioned it, I don't mind. College campus beauty is nice...but after staying over Thanksgiving break, I realize that's its definitely not the landscaping that makes a campus alive...

Classes? I don't really like college classes in general; I feel like people learn better in a high school classroom environment. Straight-up lectures and exams don't beat the style of highschool teaching, but I suppose lectures are more efficient in getting more material across, quicker. (But it's unbelievable to me how I used to wake up at 6:40 and take 7 classes.)

Food? Is delicious. Although I've never had a problem with dining hall food anywhere I've been (Rutgers, UD, Hofstra, Etown, UCLA...), and there are people who are getting tired of the food, so I don't know. 

NEVERTHELESS, I miss home--Delaware. Words cannot express how excited I am to be done with finals, and on the airplane home. Numbers can though--on a scale of 1-10, where 10 is most excited and 1 is least...my excitement level is 9001.

Good night. 

been in a bad mood lately

not really doing well academically, socially, and spiritually.

7 day countdown.

finals

Even though it's not the most material that I've had to be tested on (AP weeks probably beats it by far), it's very different. For AP, as long as you understand it well, you'll get a 4 or 5, more or less like a Pass/No Pass test.

For college finals, it's like the AP test! And sure, a 70% might be curved to an A-, but it also may stay at a C- (that's a 1.7, not a 2.0).

I really don't know how this quarter is going to play out, but I feel like I have the slim chance of earning all A's, which will probably be a rarity in the future.

before college, i probably drank coffee less times than i can count on my finger.

since i've started college, i started to drink a bit of coffee...at first with milk and sugar, but then black because i wanted to make it last a long time (span of 3 hours to stay awake during class), and the bitter taste was something i could only sip, therefore making it last long.

after one quarter, for the first time today, i'm sitting in the library with my cooled black coffee...and i never thought i'd ever say this but...

black coffee tastes good :D

sincerity.

it's late.

i hate, hate ..humanities classes.
public speaking, my butt

this is why i am an engineer.
because there was no other options

(oh the posted time is deceiving though. minus 1 hr for midwest)

"don't ever, EVER let somebody cramp your style... be who you be, ya hearrd"

Because i didn't buy anything after 6 hours of black friday shopping, i rewarded myself by buying a "mystery box," except the mystery box I bought yesterday was $5, not $10--cyber monday deal fail.

I don't know why exactly I bought it (well I guess I do, for the stated reason above), but usually I don't do stuff like this...

I'm still very curious though =P.

i'm going to sleep tonight the earliest i have done all schoolyear - aiming for 11pm.

Today, I went Black Friday shopping with some upperclassmen (Hace, Luis, HC) and some people from my own grade (Sherry, Wonjae). It was interesting...we stayed up finding chords to songs, and playing the guitar to them (luckily Sherry is a music major, so transposing was easy), and then learning ukulele chords, and playing them to that too. Who knew "I'm Yours" and "Beautiful One" could have the same chords?

Then we played codmw2, slept for 1 hr in my dorm, and headed off to Woodfield Mall for Black Friday Shopping. I didn't buy anything, but I got to have a great conversation with Hace and listen to his astounding and unique testimony. Some good times, and I didn't do a crash-nap when I came back because I guess I had random like 10-20 min naps within the mall @starbucks, sleepnumber beds, some beef burger place that was really good..

On a side note, after seeing this campus entirely empty out due to Thanksgiving break...I do NOT want to live in a single. In addition, I'm not sure if the song was "beautiful one" or not, but I think it was..

Ate panera for dinner...kind of splurged because I didn't spend anything on Black Friday..

So excited to go back...
talk to my parents..brother..friends...SNOWBOARDDDD

These two weeks....finals studying/FINALS ...>_>

happy birthday, dad!

"For your final speech, argue on anything you like that may be related to your future career."

What to write/talk about. Electrical Engineering? Technically speaking, that's not my major right now because I'm undeclared right now, but at the same time I'm not taking anymore chemistry, which points to IE, Mech, and EE, and the fact that I'm taking an EE class next quarter makes me (and others) believe that I'm an EE major.

So EE. What to write about? I don't know even know. I don't know what EE consists of, so I couldn't even write a speech explaining it, much less arguing something related to it. Why did I pick engineering in the first place? Well, come April of 2010, it was really a scramble of whether I want to do med, pharmacy, or engineering. Why I never considered econ or business...well I guess I never considered it after seeing my change from AP Econ. I didn't want everything I do to be related to maximizing profit, persuading people to do this, or that. Admittingly though, my understanding of business and econ is quite minuscule, so my decision was probably made off of a poor foundation.

Why not Med or pharmacy? Well considering how I felt towards my science classes in HS vs my math classes, engineering seemed like the choice that I liked more. "Math." Even though I'm not good at it, even though pre-med majors thought SAT II Math was the easiest test invented while I thought it was the hardest one, here I am, studying engineering. I would love to say I didn't want to choose my career solely based on money, which in some sense I did--Pharmacy would have been an easy 100K out of college, and medical...well honestly, I don't think being a doctor is worth the money if that's what you're in it for. The time you burn away becoming a doctor, and being a doctor is worth far more than the money you earn (if that's the only reason you're there). I would love say that I gave up pharmacy and medicine to pursue my "true" passion in light of lower income, less stability in job, etc. But let's be honest here, engineering majors are not poor. In fact, when I mentioned a mechanical engineering degree, my parents quickly shook their heads because they know many other kids who are out of job as mechE majors. I guess that's why I'm not a mechE, even though I think mechE is the heart of engineering, (even though I still have no idea of what it is), but EE sounds really cool too. This paragraph is far too long; therefore, I guess I choose engineering....because I thought it'd be cooler. Honestly--and hopefully Adam Smith's invisible hand pushes me into the society accordingly. That, or I'm going to know 2000 doctors because I swear at least 1/2 the people I meet are "pre-med" majors.

Oh, and I'm bad at English, and I hate reading. That's probably also why I didn't want to do business (or for that matter, other non-math science majors).

And...that is the reason why NU forces engineers to take classes like public speaking...because we hate reading, writing, ...and speaking, and Public Speaking forces the student to do all three. Thus, back to the speech.

Well, this is a very dull and straight-forward post for such a emotions-filled holiday--Happy Thanksgiving. I'm thankful for PEOPLE this year. Vague and cloudy, I know. Maybe I'll write something on that for another time (warning: I don't think I've ever followed through went I wrote that in previous entries). Right now, I'm hoping some idea will suddenly pop up in my head to talk about for my speech as I continuously write in this empty dorm.

Oh. I'm 19 now. o.0 I don't know what to think, but perhaps that's the best.

Stop this train I want to get off and go home again


Don't know how else to say it, don't want to see my parents grow old...

11/20 played broomball with kasa against tasc (2-2!)

figured i should start recording cool stuff that happens but i'll forget later

11/14 - wongfu with esther and her friend
11/15 - happiness coke machine!

大学

the highs are so high

but the lows are so low

discovering my true name

The worst fear isn't failing. It's succeeding and realizing your success is worth nothing.

mon night - badminton
tues night - ssg
wed night - aa sg
thurs night- badminton
fri night- focus lg

in between.....LINALG,CALC3,ECON, (public speaking)....AHHHCOLLEGEEE

i don't shy away from an academic course challenges often (except for AP histories I suppose...)

but i think it's about time to take a step back...

--


LOL sike, econ minor here we gooo!!!

i have probably studied econ for over 20 hours in the past 3 days

I will probably still fail. >_>..

sucky thing about college is that everything you do begins to weigh in on your future. more motivation to study, but greater potential to fail

i talked a to girl today who send she's scared for friday because it's when her econ midterm comes back, and it'll pretty much determine whether or not she's going to continue her major.

i'm not extraodinary at math, i'm just starting to program, i don't know any physics...

hopefully hardwork and willpower really is enough (to get me through engineering) like everyone says ...


why am i taking an econ class? idk. all i know is HS econ was awesome, and this...stinks.

fuck you.

=(

i miss you guys.

faults

i can't organize my thoughts...period.

i can't tell stories, i can't repeat jokes, i can't have crystal clear conversations.

my writing needs organization, my speeches need organization....

just like we learned in junior high-- intro, thesis, support, conclude.

i don't understand how to match everything into that form though.

i open my mouth and...everything scatters.

i've typically focused on my strengths and just passed on with my weaknesses, but i think it's about time to focus on my weaknesses.

rutgers freshmen

one decision (even one as simple as letting a friend into your room) could change your life (for better or worse)

see RRR

see jEdwards

see (fallen politicians and celebrities)

see csw motorcyclist who decided to race

be wary

i love the transitions.

between classes, places, beats, days...

racial barrier


i fail.

college

is different. very different...

EE??????????????????/

holy crap, let's do this

i still haven't fully wrapped my head around "college."

almost 18 years i've lived with my parents...what will it be like to live without them?

maybe it'll be easy, since not seeing my dad everyday wasn't bad when i was in elementary/middle school and not seeing my mom everyday in highschool wasn't that bad either, and i didn't miss my brother too much when he went off the college, because i didn't see him in high school either.

i don't know...i sure hope my parents find something fun to do though. my brother and i have occupied their time for the past two decades, i hope they remember how to live with just the two of them.

there's no going back with this plan of mine...rutgers and ud don't have the degree i want. it's all or nothing now.

language barrier

i sit there, like a duck. i can listen, but i can't speak (well). my responses are short and my phrases, in pieces.

i'm 18 years old, and i know they serve soda over there (the drink that the kids like). i can't read that it isn't that type of tea, i'm sorry, i guessed.

i can listen, but i can't respond. i hear your undertones of mockery that you use, thinking that i don't understand, but i only sit there, listening.

i'm sorry, dad and mom...the language barrier does exist. and thank you for doing everything to try to overcome it. i'm sorry.

even though i don't agree with them, there's much to respect about catholic priests.

pastors, missionaries, traveling doctors, traveling builders, great benefactors....will all rarely make the decision to not mate for God.

to take on that duty already knowing what it entails....is truly respectable. a hard decision, indeed.

i will not play your damn game.

i am still running...

I think the best at night, when my mind is most clear.

Maybe I should work a graveyard shift when I grow up...

incredible days

The best days are those that take you by complete surprise.

Tuesday.
Struck between the choice watching NBA finals and going to a LAN party or going to UDel IV, I would have chosen LAN party and NBA any other day. But that day amidst mixed feelings, I couldn't bring myself to choosing LAN party vs a Christian activity, not because on the surface, it seems like a really...broken choice, but because I almost felt that I needed to be there for them. Maybe not that same support of walking people to their cars for comfort, but maybe not something too far from it. Walking around, it's as simply as that.

Wednesday.
A nearly canceled event that everyone expected just to be a rainy day at the park--the best days are those that take you by complete surprise. Nearly perfect, day I would say, besides losing my cap. $60 does not even begin to describe the blissful feeling of ...release. I'm beginning to learn to let go of my firm grasp on money; I thought, what cost would I put on my time at WCEC? How much would you pay for a Friday night? $1? $5? $20? $50? $100? $1000? The lives saved, relationships cultivated, the experiences endured, and the lessons learned...no, they are too priceless. In The Last Lecture, Randy Pausch spoke of never putting a cost on your family time (from the perspective of a father). Mowing the lawn vs having someone mow it for you and you spending two more hours with your family seemed like such a obvious choice to him, and I guess I'm beginning to understand that decision more; however, I don't think each situation is the same...

Anyway, there's my money tangent. But yes, a day ending with a worker going to extra mile for us on the ferris wheel, so we decided to go the extra mile for him by making sure his deeds are noticed, led to finding out that lost-and-found actually do work, and I'm sure someone is plenty happy they do.

However, although a tiny retreat is nice (and costly!), it's time to return home, remember to not idolize comfort, and continue to work in His church. Greater things are still to be done...sen10rs, don't get sedentary!

Oh, I won a cool futbol too.

graduate

It's the process that happens every year. It's time for 2010 to step down and for 2011 to step up. I hope we've prepared them well enough. Rise and come awake!

last steps

I should being sleeping, but I feel like this is worth noting.

Tomorrow will be the last day of high school. Although I'll hardly remember my "high school" years by the Charter School of Wilmington....good point, Rich. Okay, I'll write this post when I leave WCEC =(

One point I do want to make--the speakers at Youth Sunday were all outsiders. I don't think I'll expand on this point here. But this spring retreat, really focus on shattering those boundaries with your sword of the spirit.

UNITY...we are one. even the penguins recognize that they have to stick together to survive the cold winters. we must stick together to make sure we don't lose anyone too.

most epic simile i ever wrote.

my grandmother

mom says that my grandmother chuckles before she sleeps at night now. her youngest grandson is going to college.

caution

if i had driven my normal 45-50mph down stoney batter rd rather than my after-hours cruise of 40mph, i would've hit that deer head-on.

"Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger."

maybe this is why God made me like beanies so much...

if case and northwestern really aren't for me, then i'll go to rutgers. no sweat,

hopefully.

it's been an interesting year, but it'll be ____________ to see that I concluded at the same place I started. (i really don't know.)

my mother, from the outside, encourages musicians to go on with their dream

maybe she is familiar with that unseatable passion

from the inside, she wishes she could turn them another way

phi 1:21

"The main question in life is, how do you feel about death..."

For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.

psalm 37:4

genesis 22

i failed His test. i didn't seek His kingdom first...

second chance #9000 here we go

so now what?

i guess i sort of knew this was coming

if i had gotten in, the college decision process would have been too easy i suppose. it's time to really think about where to go now...

winding down

i suppose, this is it? everything's coasting off now, and it's the best time of the high school, congruous to the moments after a long day of skiing, coming home and gearing down.

are last impressions just as important as first ones?

hehe..

a lot of times when i see starry nights or wonderful spring days, i think, "I'm busy now...I can enjoy it when I'm older and have more time.."

I think I'm just lying to myself though...=P

Arise, O Lord! Confront him, subdue him!
Deliver my soul from the wicked by your sword,
from men by your hand, O Lord,
from men of the world whose a portion is in this life.
You fill their womb with treasure;
they are satisfied with children,
and they leave their abundance to their infants.

As for me, I shall behold your face in righteousness;
when I awake, I shall be satisfied with your likeness.

wcec

"mr. gorbachev, tear down this wall"

this is one of the two verses i still remember from 7th grade, and it still comes to mind 5 years later

No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

-1 Cor 10:13

You are stronger...You are faithful.

Something's on my mind, but I'm not exactly sure as to what it is.

------------------------

20 And he lifted up his eyes on his disciples, and said:

“Blessed are you who are poor, for yours is the kingdom of God.

21 “Blessed are you who are hungry now, for you shall be satisfied.

“Blessed are you who weep now, for you shall laugh.

22 “Blessed are you when people hate you and when they exclude you and revile you and spurn your name as evil, on account of the Son of Man!

23 Rejoice in that day, and leap for joy, for behold, your reward is great in heaven; for so their fathers did to the prophets.

I am not poor, I am rich..
I am not hungry, I am content..
I do not weep, I laugh..
I am not hated...

I've gotten too comfortable. My reward isn't here.

"If we have never had the experience of taking our commonplace religious shoes off our commonplace religious feet, and getting rid of all the undue familiarity with which we approach God, it is questionable whether we have ever stood in His presence. "

"To get there is a question of will, not of debate nor of reasoning, but a surrender of will, an absolute and irrevocable surrender on that point. "

"when you are baptized, you are baptized to Jesus Christ, the son of God, but you are also baptized to your congregation. this tells us two things, God is with in your personal relationship with him, but also he is with you within your fellowship."

"For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them."
Matthew 18:20

We meet God within friendships. Amen.

one people

not the christian asian,
but the chinese christian
the korean christian
the american christian
the african christian

the christians.
"i am Christian."

i'm a self-declared introvert (which may surprise some of you, but probably not), but i think this year i will pray for something that was mentioned in youth group a few months ago.

"be strong and courageous..."

she was right. he was right. i've been inside my comfort zone too long...

[repost] i love economics...

...as a course.

As an actual way of thinking, "marginal thinking..," I despise it. For a while I thought everything was more efficient that way, looking at everything in terms of costs and benefits, but then it just makes one so calculated. Every move, every action...

"I'll do this, so I can get that."
"Why would I do that? What benefit can I get out of that?"

I still see it in people though.

Soon enough everyone's out for themselves, trying to rip each others' hearts and wallets out with a smile.

%^&* efficiencies.

He used the word "perverse." The last time I heard that word was in American Literature for the short story about the "Imp of the perverse," and how odd that story was, followed by another story about a man's obsession with a girl's teeth.

I thought the word was a bit extreme, but now I realize, truly, how perversely we think. Our minds, our thoughts, our words...how perverse.

Decisions skewed, perspectives justified--how wrong, how perverse!

"Trust in your heart," "follow your heart..." - what a load of crap

I want none of this perverseness. Extreme? No, no...not one bit.

He is stronger
He is justified
He is our only hope.
He is our glory.

Billy: WHY DO WE HAVE TO GO TO PROM RICH
WHATS WRONG WITH SIX FLAGS
T_T

me: UR RIGHT
CULTIVATE

Billy: LOL

me: START OUR OWN CULTURE

Billy: hahahahah

me: ENOUGH WITH THIS

Billy: CREATE

me: SILLY AMERICAN PROM-ISH THING

Billy: NO CONSUMING

me: WORD SON

the sad thing is, admist the sardonic undertones.

...there is a very good point.

=)

orientation

i was wondering. what if my son was gay?

honestly, what could i do? pray? try to change his ways? that's like trying to make a straight man, gay.

now some may say, "well rich, that's not possible unless your son makes the choice to be gay."

well i don't think people "choose" to be gay. it just doesn't make sense. our entire society (for the most part) geared against them, why would they choose to be part of that eschewed group?

if gayness is just another sin, and if we're all born with sin, then what if gayness was just a sin that people are born with?

i don't know what i believe in for how one's orientation develops; i'd like to think it has to deal with how people are brought up, but i'm not sure.

i still hate it when people use that word in replace of "irritable" or "annoying." we never learn our lessons, do we?

okay, i'm going to sleep before any more ideas pop into my head.

5-1

i think the entire doctor thing was a high-flying dream.

and all those people who say that doctors are only in it for the money can go...away.

honestly, if you wanted to make money, get an engineering degree, get a lawyer degree, and make $500/hour. it actually takes less time to do those two, then to go get a pre-med undergraduate, medical graduate school, 4 (5??) years of residency, and another 3(4?) of fellowship.

i honestly do want to help though. i'll just have to find my own way.

i should've known when she started talking to me again. i can't imagine what being on the IV for 10 hours a day would feel like.

RU

one of my knacks about going back to jersey is that i'm afraid it won't be that completely new start.



also i think the asian population on new brunswick campus is comparable to the UCs.

i'm no writer

but i'd like to start posting more. i don't know, i always feel like i have to post something interesting, but i never really have anything interesting, and/or i can never do my thoughts justice with my writing.

so i end up simply taking interesting videos that represent it better.

HOWEVER, the second half of senior year has already been in full effect, yet it seems as if nothing has changed.

i should really stop thinking in between my writing because then my writing has really large gaps of thread to follow.

but yes. this weekend has been refreshing in terms of sleep.

i still find it hard to talk about spiritual things. it's like some social norm (that i need to break.)

...

bleh. organization has always been my problem.

gone

like yesterday is gone

oh my goodness i'm actually going to graduate

man

it is hard to remain thankful when your feelings differ....

unc =(

truly

"better than i deserve"

"God doesn't waste your time."

I wish I could capture late night conversations and transpose the interaction, environment, and the melody into words, but I can't....but it's okay.

i really regret opening my mouth sometimes...

...a lot of times...=(

it's really odd to think these people know me purely on a fictional gamer name...o_O

take off the crown

and kneel.

let's see how long i can last

I think I'm going to need a new calendar now =). Good night, and best wishes to you all in 2o10.
--
Up and we'll go where you want to
Cause I never thought that we'd make it this far
So let's go up cause we'll go where you want to
Cause I never thought that we'd make it this far