I've been thinking a lot about what it means to be friends. Is it liking similar things? Is it knowing each other for a long time? Or having similar upbringings? Having similar VALUES? The big V word. Or is it just the vibes? Little v.
Some of these things don't change over time, like upbringing for instance. But most do - what I liked in high school, is not the same as what I like now. Some of it is the same, some of it isn't. I didn't like sushi in high school. I love sushi now.
It's interesting because I have these friends that I feel like if I met them now, I probably wouldn't be friends with them. That's not an attack at the guy I'm thinking of, but that's just how life goes. But still, I think very fondly of him, giving him a lot of the benefit of the doubt. I once did life with this guy. Despite most people having hundreds of friends on FB, friends are hard to come by, especially as you grow up. How many people do I interact with in my life? Maybe 50k in a lifetime? And how many did I ever consider a friend, a person I did life with? Maybe 100? What I'm saying it's incredibly rare to consider someone, even just an okay friend, not even a good friend.
I often think how elderly people come to find themselves lonely, decrepit, and angry at the world. The older I get, I see that pathway, and it's really easy. I have some really good friends that I have very different Values from. It'd be easy to say....well this person just loves extravagant things, and always tries to rope me in. I don't want this person in my life anymore. Or, this person is always so stubborn, always wants things their way. I think the path is that simple. You reject those around you for not seeing things how you see it. One of the key downfall sin the old testament was when "In those days Israel had no king; all the people did whatever seemed right in their own eyes."
I'm not saying friends are always worth keeping though. There are certain lines that must be drawn, I've definitely dismissed friendships. Especially ones that I felt like would be disrespectful to another friend if I didn't.
But...I don't want to be that lonely angry old man. Friends are too precious to lose over these things. I don't want my life to be full of anger and resentment. I want it to be full of love and joy.
I'm proud of who I am, confident in my values, yet I've never met someone exactly like me. I probably never will. But I've met a bunch of annoying people who I don't see eye-to-eye on everything...and I'm lucky to call them my friends.
