mother's day

I'm at the point in the night where I can't get any more work done. I think. I shall write...

I emailed my mom today. Apologizing for the crappy phone call I gave her yesterday and apologized for not calling home as much. I think I didn't call home for two weeks, and my parents tried calling me like 4 times. Albeit, all four times were before 9:30am and I was sleeping so I didn't pick up, they thought something happened to me or I had lost my phone. I was sort of just like..."really?" to them.

Although it seems like an exaggerated response, I guess I'll never understand being a parent until I'm a parent. So I sent her an email, apologizing, then asking why we never talk about stuff other than academics.

"How's school?"
"Are you busy?"
"What classes are you taking next quarter?"
"Are your classes hard?"
"When are your tests?"

These are probably the only questions I hear from my parents. So much so that I practically ignore them now. I've never had a problem with keeping up my grades so I've never depended on my parents for ...academic support. I wrote about how I'd like to talk to them about more than just school. (Of course, what mom can say no to that? I know how to tug my mom's heart...)

I wish I could communicate better with my parents. I wonder if the kids who speak Mandarin (or Korean) to their parents have better relationships with them. I bet. Such a large barrier broken, just like it'd be easier for me to get to know someone who speaks English well than someone who speaks English poorly.

Every time I listen to John Mayer's "Stop This Train"...I always think about my parents. The idea that there will be a time when they will no longer be financially supporting with...food, shelter, school, and everything. Independence. Is that what I wanted?

Scary. Don't ever die, Mom and Dad.